88% Meat!!!

I posted this on the other site, but thought it would fit on here as well.

In 1993, we were all treated to a cinema classic when Demolition Man exploded onto movie screens.  It was a fun movie, to be sure.  Completely implausible, but fun.  It featured some big names actors - several who would even get award nominations and victories in future years.  The soundtrack was by Sting.  Like I said, fun movie.  Here's its IMDB page, if you are interested.  The basic story was a modern supercop (Sylvester Stallone, of course) was convicted of wrongfully killing an apartment complex full of people.  He was sentenced to cryogenic prison - he was frozen.  Many years later he is unfrozen in the sissified future to capture a violent criminal (Wesley Snipes) who had somehow escaped from this cryo-prison.  The future was pretty bizarre, played for laughs, and completely impossible to imagine.  In one of the more ridiculous examples of this future, everyone keeps talking about going to Taco Bell, like it is this big awesome deal.  Stallone's cop finally can't take it anymore and wonders why.  His partner (Sandra Bullock) explains that Taco Bell was the only restaurant that survived the "Fast Food Wars."  Every restaurant was now Taco Bell.

It really was one of the more brazen (and brilliant) product placements in movie history.  And it paved the way for Happy Gilmore to supercharge his golf swing with Subway subs, as well as allowed Tony Stark to demand Burger King after his release/escape from prison.  It also allowed for Taco Bell to develop one of their special combo meals that they are so known for.  Back then, Taco Bell was not really into that, yet.  This was one of their first big combo efforts.  Later, it would be replicated with their tie in with Congo and the "Volcano Combo."  It even led to the stupid Star Wars Episode I tie in with sister chains KFC and Pizza Hut.  Now, Taco Bell always has some kind of combo going that's tied in to something.  But, back then, it was unique.  I remember many times ordering the Demolition Man Combo.  Then I would go back to my dorm and become a demolition man in the bathroom.  Good fun.

I thought of this the other day when Taco Bell's plans to become the only restaurant on earth took a severe blow when it was sued for making the egregious claim that it used "meat" in its food.  Details of the lawsuit can be found here.  The basics of the suit is that Taco Bell is supposedly not meeting federal standards for "meat" by adding fillers, oats, water, circus peanuts to their beef.  "Attorney Dee Miles said the meat mixture contained just 35 percent beef, with the remaining 65 percent containing water, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodrextrin, anti-dusting agent and modified corn starch."  Amazingly, the suit does not want Taco Bell to stop this practice.  Rather, it wants them to now call their product "meat mixture" rather than "beef."

Taco Bell, naturally, did not take this sitting down on the toilet.  (They obviously don't eat their own products.)  They fired back with a threat of a countersuit and explained that "yuh huh" their meat is really animal.  They even have put up posters in their restaurants with the bold statement "THANK YOU FOR SUING US!"  If you read the poster - which I did yesterday at our visit to Taco Bell - it claims that their meat is actually 88% percent meat, and then only 12% other stuff.  SO THERE!!! HA HA!  They showed you!  You lying rat fishturds.  Eighty eight percent!  Eighty eight percent!

Waaaaait a minute...

Bragging that your meat is 88% meat is kind of like FSU bragging that 9 out of 10 of their male students obtain permission before engaging in sexual activity with someone.  "FSU!!!  Now with only 10% rapists!!!"  [Real fact from this website.]  Taco Bell even went on to list the rest of the stuff in their food.

"We start with USDA-inspected quality beef (88%)," Taco Bell said in an ad signed by company president Greg Creed. "Then add water to keep it juicy and moist (3%). Mix in Mexican spices and flavors including salt, chili pepper, onion powder, tomato powder, sugar, garlic powder and cocoa powder (4%). Combine a little oats, caramelized sugar, yeast, citric acid and other ingredients that contribute to the flavor, moisture, consistency and quality of our seasoned beef."  [That last category is 5%, since they didn't state it.]

Way to go Taco Bell!!  The poster actually says that they use the same USDA beef that we would use at home.  Doubtful.  See, I usually use a 93/7 beef to fat kind of meat.  If I'm buying for bulk, I'll use the 90/10 from Sam's.  I severely doubt the Mexican Phone Company is going to cough up that kind of money.  My guess is that the BEST they use is an 80/20 blend of ground chuck.  They may even have some other option we don't - like a 70/30 one.  NOW WITH MORE HOOF!!!  So, that 88% number is obviously not correct.  Let's say they use a 80/20 - being kind and all.  Using simple math, that means that the real "meat" percent is actually closer to 70%, with 18% being fat, 3% being water, 4% being spices , and 5% being oats, sugar, gym mats, batting, recycled tennis shoes.  (The truth of what they use is far more disturbing and uses the words "Cutter Grade.")

Now, if Taco Bell's numbers are right, they aren't too bad.  If you were make taco meat at home, your numbers actually would be worse.  Take one pound of ground beef (16 ounces), a packet of spices (1.25 ounces), and 3/4 cup of water (about 6 ounces).  The percents for that would be meat 69%, spices 5%, and water 26%.  Of course, some of the water and some of the fat cooks out, so those numbers would be quite different.  [Most of the time, I don't use water when I make it.  Just to share.]

I, for one, don't believe Taco Bell's numbers for a minute.  From what I noticed, no one was surprised at the original lawsuit and accusations.  People have heard bad things about fast food for years.  I have been told numerous times that Taco Bell's meat is a lower USDA grade than cat food.  This article actually shows one man's research into that claim.  [My favorite line in it is "it is all cow meat and by law cannot contain cow organs or tendons or hooves or anything except cow meat."]  This doesn't surprise me.  We know this.  There is a part of our mind that has accepted this.  We know that there is no way McDonald's has served all the hamburgers it claims to if they were all actually 100% meat.  We honestly don't expect it.  So what if they use "mechanically separated chicken" or cow meat as long it doesn't have hoof in it.  I actually have an easier time believing the lawsuit numbers instead of Taco Bell's.

Even if their numbers are accurate, the fact remains that the quality of their meat is hardly even comparable to what we would use at home.  To try to claim that their stuff is just like ours is insulting.  What the lawsuit against the Bell will probably try to do is to point out that the 88% number is not truly all meat - going by what else goes into its creation.  It's another example of a major corporation getting caught skating the line and then retaliating with spin doctors and lawsuits and bluster.  It's like when Denny's was accused of being racist, which then prompted them to do a similar "thanks for suing us" campaign.  It was something like, "Thanks for reminding us of what is important.  Thanks for reminding us that we should remember what elementary kids have hammered home every day - to not judge people by the color of their skin when they just want some pancakes."  Then they put plaques up in every store assuring us that they don't discriminate.

Look, we know how this is going to end.  Taco Bell is going to make some token apology.  They'll print a bunch of new posters to convince us they are "working harder."  They'll pay some people off, fire some executives.  The lawsuit will be a distant memory and Taco Bell won't go anywhere.  They may see some dip in sales for a few weeks.  But not every restaurant is open for "Fourth Meal" - or, as FSU students call it, "When the Munchies Kick In."  People won't stop going there because they don't care.  Like I said, no one was stunned by this news.  People will keep on thinking outside the bun and scarfing down cheap tacos and gorditas.  And Taco Bell can continue their quest for fast food domination.  I just ask that they don't insult me by bragging about the mediocre way they are doing business.  Don't throw "88%" in my face, like I'm supposed to be impressed.  You're Taco Bell.  You're disgusting.  You are not some authentic Mexican place with fresh hearty ingredients.  Don't pretend to be so.  Take your lumps, do what you have to do.  And then get back to what you do best - developing big combos, negotiating movie tie-ins, cooking crappy food, and thinking about how to save our future - with or without a defrosted Sly Stallone.

Plateau

I remember when I was in school and learned about what a plateau was.  It was a raised area that was higher in sea level than the surrounding area, but it was level on top.  I always saw it in my head as a mountain that was cut off at the knees.  And it was always in a desert - and red.  I don't know why I see it that way.  It may be because of the pictures in those early books that taught me about it.  Whatever the reason, a plateau seemed like a horrible land feature - almost as bad as a savannah.  Boring and depressing. Not exciting like a mountain, dry, desolate, like a big wart.

This post is for all those people who think that my weight loss efforts have been non-stop successes.  You may be surprised, but I hear that frequently.  People will start a weight loss process, and then look at me and get depressed when they don't lose tons of weight.  When I had that huge drop back during the holidays, numerous people told me they were frustrated.  Well, now it is my turn.

Back before Christmas, I had dropped all the way to 253.  Last week, I weighed 258.  I finally got back down to 254 on Monday, only to be back up at 255 on Tuesday.  (This was after having a bad stomach day and, uh, "using the facilities" six times in 24 hours.)  It has been six weeks of floating around the same weight - and even going up.  There is no good reason.  I have been back home most of that time, eating like I had been eating back in early November.  I was on a routine.  I was drinking fewer Starbucks lattes.  I should have been going back down the weight ladder.  But I went up.  I have no idea why.

I know this happens with weight loss.  I have been waiting for it to happen.  All I hoped for was that I could hit 100 pounds before it happened - which I did.  I really have gone as far as possible with just food changes.  I have to do one of two things - restrict my diet further or start exercising.  As far as the first option goes, I do NOT want to restrict my diet more.  I have gotten into an easy to maintain routine.  This is a good thing.  I know what I can and can't eat.  I like my choices.  It is something I can continue for the long term.  I have made some minor changes, like eating less BBQ and trying to eat more fruit and veggies.  For example, I will make sure I have a couple bananas and an apple every day in between meals, to up my intake.  I try to not have a meal without some kind of plant generated item.  I am really honestly not willing to trim things further.  Some people may take issue with that.  But when so much has already been cut, it is hard to imagine cutting into the few options I have.

The second option is to begin exercising.  I know that I need to do this.  But I just have not gotten the drive to start.  I remember when I began this journey last year, the food stuff like clicked - like a switch had flipped.  I was ready and committed.  There was no wavering.  I didn't come up with excuses to cheat.  I just did it and that's that.  But with exercise, sheesh.  It is like I come up with every single reason possible to not start.

It is too cold.  That is my biggest excuse right now.  It is a true statement, to be sure.  We rarely have a day that the wakey time temperature is above 40.  And even those days usually are rainy with a new front moving into the area.  Exercising in the cold is a pretty lousy experience.  (Understand, that my definition of exercise at this point is basically walking.)  This is combined by the fact that...

I don't have the right clothing for this (another excuse).  I don't have long pants for exercising - I have jeans and a couple pairs of khakis.  The only workout pants I have fall down no matter how tight I tie them.  And I don't want to spend money on any new stuff - because I don't really want to work out.

I don't have access to a gym.  People will usually respond to my climate excuses with "well go to the gym."  I am not going to buy a gym membership.  I've done that before.  Until I have some commitment that is like pouring money into a furnace.  Plus, the only one close is the YMCA - and a pretty lame one at that.  Our apartment complex has a workout center.  But it seems to have its hours modeled after Major Major from Catch-22.  It's only open when you can't go.  They don't open it until after most people would have left for work and it closes before the kids go to bed.  I can't take Gabe because the only place to put him is this little tiny alcove with a lame gate he could just open and walk out from.  Now, I could go on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday when Gabe is at preschool.  But I usually have more important things to do - like nap and play on Facebook.

The kids won't cooperate.  We have a Wii and Wii Fit and a Wii Balance Board.  I used it for a while.  But now, it seems like I just don't see that as an option.  I don't know why.  I used to use it when Gabey was going to bed.  The big kids would watch me.  Now, Gabe's routine has changed, we have gymnastics on Tuesday and Thursday, and the house seems to have more toys in the way.  I'm sure I could still use the Wii.  But the tiniest excuse not to always seems to derail me.

I hurt too much.  My rheumatoid arthritis has been flared up for the past six months or so.  But, the meds I am on actually seem to be working pretty well.  Of course, it is a convenient excuse when my neck or knee are acting up.  I couldn't possibly work through that.  (Even though exercise is supposed to be something good for RA.)

Basically, I am stuck in neutral.  The food stuff is going fine.  But I just don't seem to have the desire to start the exercise.  Part of it is that I have come so far.  It's not like I have to exercise to save my life or anything.  It is to get the last chunk off.  I just hate exercise.  I'm not one of those people who gets a thrill by running or lifting weight.  I get a thrill by killing animated pigs with catapulted birds.  I get a thrill by watching Burn Notice or White Collar.  I'm a stagnant person.  This is not a new development.  My brother used to try to get me to play outside with him.  As I got older, it got harder and harder for him to do it.  I don't like it.

People will say, "You just got to do it.  Just get up and do it."  It's funny, though.  That is the same thing they said about the food changes - and that advice never worked with that either.  It isn't as easy as just standing up and saying, "Today I'm going to force myself to do this."  Or maybe it is.  I haven't found the answer yet.  I'm not giving up.  I just have tried to be honest on this blog about my process.  And right now, my process is in stasis and is being held up by my lack of motivation to engage in physical activity.  Really, until I do that, I'm stuck on that desert wart.

One Year Update

I really can't believe that it has been a whole year.  Last MLK weekend, for some reason, things finally clicked and decided to do something about my weight and food issues.  It has been a long journey.  It has not been easy.  But, quite honestly, it has been a lot easier and quick than I thought.  First, let me throw up the numbers that I know everyone thirsts for.

2010
355 pounds
4XLT Shirts
50" waist
Hole 1 of bigger belt

2011
255 pounds
XLT Shirts
38" waist
Hole 9 of smaller belt

Yes, things fluctuate all the time.  I was down to 253 about ten days ago.  Then I was back up 258 after traveling and driving all weekend.  But most of the last month I have been at 255.  The fluctuations are annoying - and one of those frustrations that have derailed me in the past.  (And they also are the most disheartening things with my friends who are working on their weight and food right now.)  You can do everything right and take in too much salt and then drift up a couple pounds right at weigh-in time.  Then, with no warning, you'll drop four pounds in a week.  Fluctuations stink.

But this post is not about complaining.  It is a celebration.  That is how I have viewed this past weekend.  On Friday night, we had our Tallahassee friends over for a Tex-Mex fiesta to celebrate the one year anniversary.  It felt appropriate.  Weight loss and dieting is such a solitary thing - most of the time.  That is how I had always approached it.  You are fighting alone, looking at all the fun everyone else is having.  This time, though, I did something different.  I involved my friends and family from the very beginning.  The first thing I did was send an email out to a core group of supporters to ask for prayer.  That email is one of the first posts on this blog.  Speaking of this blog, it was another way to bring supporters into the process.  I was journaling my journey - working through issues and struggles.  I also posted monthly updates on Facebook.  This brought accountability.  I wasn't alone.  That brought comfort, in the fact that I had people to turn to.  But it also kept me going, because I didn't want to have to admit to bunch of people I had binged on fried cheese.

There is no way I could have done this without all the people around me.  I can't even explain the feeling in knowing that fifty or sixty people were reading this blog after every Facebook update.  It made me feel good - like a jolt of energy to keep me on track.  Every email, blog comment, Facebook status comment was another push in the right direction.  Every time I saw someone who gushed about how good I looked, it just made me more driven.  Those things are so important to a person making a life change.  They need to know other people are proud of them and rooting for them.

It went beyond just edification.  My friends and family went overboard to make sure I succeeded.  "I want to make sure you have what you need to eat."  I heard that every time I was staying at someone's house.  Most people don't have Fage brand cherry Greek yogurt in their fridge.  My friends and family members do every time I'm in town.  The average family doesn't cook chicken breast at a kiddie birthday party.  They don't have frozen yogurt in their fridge or big jars of cashews in their cupboard.  My friends do.  My friends make two stops when picking up food - one at McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A and one at a BBQ place for me.  My friends and family forego going to Olive Garden and Carrabbas when I'm around.  They put up with Mexican food a lot.  And LOTS of BBQ.  They eat at Boston Market.  They ask before they bake things if I can handle it.  They make extra sides at dinners so there are things for me to eat.  For all those people who wonder how I did this - that's how.  I had an army of people making sure I didn't fail.  They didn't want to be the one that tripped me up.  And they saw it as them participating in it.  When I won, they won.  And THAT is something I never saw coming.  I was prepared to go through this alone and hungry.  And that never happened.  Even if I started to feel that way, my kids would say something about my diet or brag on me to their teacher and I remembered I was NOT alone.

People ask me all the time how I feel.  The biggest word I can use to describe how I feel now is FREE.  I am free from having to make bad choices.  I really understand freedom now.  It isn't being able to do whatever you want.  It is not having to do certain things.  I don't have to order cheeseburgers when I go to a restaurant.  I don't have to stick with the all-fried appetizer combo.  I don't have to drink soda to be satisfied.  I don't have to stop at McDonald's for breakfast.  This past weekend, we went to a party for a friend's little girl.  There was pizza and cupcakes and soda.  Yes, there was a twinge of disappointment.  But there was not even one split second that I considered partaking.  I looked at the food options and just knew that I would have to stop at Huey Magoo's on the way back to the hotel.  In years past - even in diets past - I would have taken the hit and tried to get past it later.  Not this time.  I didn't even think about it.  I was free.

I'm freer in my clothing choices.  I'm not limited to the three button colored short sleeve shirt any more.  I wear straight leg jeans instead of loose fit.  I buy shirts at Target instead of Casual Male.  I am free of those hateful beliefs about myself.  I see myself differently.  It is an unbelievable feeling.  As any American should know, freedom is an intoxicating feeling.  Actually, more Americans take it for granted.  The people who realize that are those who move here from a place where freedom is only a dream.  The same goes for someone who beats an addiction.  Only a former prisoner can truly appreciate being free.  I was that prisoner.  I was trapped in solitary confinement in a prison of my construction made of walls of donuts and pizza crust, with a moat of Mountain Dew.  Now I am free, surrounded by people who love me - and who will get to love me for a longer period of time, since I won't die from my stupid food choices.  And it is the greatest feeling in the world.  I wouldn't say Darth Fatso is dead yet.  But he is well on is way.  Thank you all for being there for me during this.

In My Sleevies

One of the more exciting and frustrating parts of this whole weight loss process is having to get new clothes.  On one hand, it is fun to get new clothes.  I don't know too many people who are down on that.  "Boo!  I want my old ratty clothes.  I don't want new stuff!"  Sure, my kids do that, but they are insane.  So the concept of "new clothes" is not the problem.  Neither is the exhilaration of trying on something in a size that used to be something you wore to recreate Chris Farley's "Fat guy in a little coat" scene from Tommy Boy and actually having it fit.  That rocks.

The frustrating thing is having to figure out the inconsistent stupid sizing methods at stores.  Why is there not a uniform sizing system?  Isn't this somewhere the government should step in?  I mean, there is a globally accepted system of weights and measures.  "A pound's a pound the world around."  Right?  Imagine the uproar if companies could decide what a cup or an ounce was.  One pound bag of flour is bigger than another.  Ridiculous.  Even worse - what if Starbucks decided their 12 ounce cup would be smaller than everyone else's.  UPROAR!!!  Clothes should be subject to this too.  I mean, they are measuring the amount of human that fits into the pants, right?   Unify that junk.

Old Navy is like the perfect example of this mind-bending sizing process.  I wear 38 inch waist, 30 inch inseam straight leg jeans there.  They fit perfect.  But, if I try to put on a 38/30 pair of cargo pants or khakis, they don't fit.  The employees there have told me it is because they have different factories making the different pants.  Uh, does that mean the different factories have different size tape measures?  That's no excuse.  But it isn't just their pants, either.  Their shirts are the worst.  Their 2XL shirts are probably the equivalent of a small XL somewhere else.  It is like everything there is sized down one letter.

Shirts are a big frustration to me.  Back in the day, when I was turning into a human Macy's Thanksgiving Day Balloon,  ("And now the Darth Fatso balloon is drifting down the boulevard.  The amazing thing, Al, is that this balloon is actually 10 percent LARGER than last year.")  I would just get whatever I could hide my body in.  And since I was usually shopping in Fat and Tall stores, the sleeves were rarely an issue.  The stores were used to seeing people with orangutan arms.  They accommodate that.  No such luck any longer.  I guess companies, as they move shirts sizes upward, also move sleeve lengths up.  Heather got me a 4XL long-sleeved UCF shirt two years ago for Christmas.  If I didn't pull the sleeves up, they would hang past my hands.  The same was true for my Apple Store long sleeve shirt - the sleeves hang to my fingertips.

When I ordered some 2XL long sleeve FSU Med School shirts a few months back, the sleeves are about two inches up my arm.  When I got measured at Men's Wearhouse in December, they reiterated the fact that I have longer arms than average for my size.  I guess I never really noticed because I was too busy worrying about the gigantic gut.  Now, though, I realize that my measurements lead to a nightmare of shopping.  My inseam is the same as my father-in-law's - who is six-seven inches shorter than me.  So I have very short legs.  I have a long torso, which means I have to get the next size up shirt - or always shop at a Big/Tall shop.  Case in point... At Target, I found some nice long sleeve flannel shirts.  (Always have been a sucker for plaid flannel shirts.  I think I was supposed to be a lumberjack.)  The 2XL shirts have a great sleeve length and are long enough, but they really are too wide.  I can button and wear the XL shirts, but they have the bare midriff look that is so hot right now.

So I have broad shoulders, a little bit of a stomach (still, yes), a very long torso, gorilla arms, normal waist, and tiny legs.  My measurements don't exactly make things easy.  But it certainly is compounded by the inconsistent sizes out there.  In the recent past, I have fit into an XLT vest, 2XL shirts, 2XLT shirts, and 3XL shirts (won't buy those, no way).  I also have fit into 38/30, 40/30, 42/30, and 46/30 pants.  Of course, as they say, it's a nice problem to have.  I just wish I knew what size I actually am.

New Year's Day

Today is New Year's Day.  January 1, 2011.  As all the twitter feeds and news sources will tell you, this is the chance for a new beginning.  It is a time to make promises and resolutions - a time to start fresh and new.  I have always found it interesting that the vast number of people end the old year doing all the same things they have always done (getting hammered, partying, making questionable choices, staying up too late) and then expect the calendar flip to give them the willpower to stop doing that.

I have always been one of those people.  Every January 1, I would try to tell myself that I could change things the next year.  This would be the year that I finally starting reading my Bible consistently or praying more often.  I finally would get my temper under control.  And, of course, I would lose weight.  It is the number one resolution that people make.  I made it so often that I finally stopped.  When people would ask me what my resolutions were, I would tell them I didn't make them because they didn't matter.  But, deep down inside, I hoped that somehow I would be able to do it anyway.

It really is a ridiculous effort - to put so much weight (ha ha) on one day.  But millions of people do it every year.  The problem is that when you wake up on the First, nothing really has changed.  You are the same person with the same addictions and weaknesses and history.  Your kitchen is full of the same problem foods.  There are the same holiday cookies and cakes, the same snack foods.  There probably are leftovers from the party the night before.  How can anyone expect to walk downstairs and into a new life like that?  It is setting yourself up for failure.  And that just feeds the cycle.

When the inevitable failure comes - which odds are it will - that is just more ammo in the weapons of doubt and shame.  It is another example of how this problem is too big to defeat.  You train yourself to fail.

This year is so much different for me.  This morning I woke up and realized for the first time that I could even remember, I didn't say, "Maybe this year I can lose weight."  Instead I woke up and said, "I weigh 100 pounds less than I did last year."  That was an exhilarating feeling.  I have almost gone an entire calendar year now.  I have made it through every major holiday, every possible trap and pitfall.  There wasn't a resolution to be made.  The thing is, it came through hard work and planning and discipline.  Those are the things that resolutions don't have.  It takes preparation and execution - commitment.  I find it fitting that my journey didn't begin on January 1.  It was on the 18th.  It is kind of symbolic that it wasn't a whim of a thought - it was a serious choice.

For those of you out there who are struggling, I pray that this year you are able to find victory and freedom.  Don't get wrapped up in meeting some arbitrary goal set because the calendar flipped.  Take your time and plan.  Realize this is going to be a long process.  But, in the grand scheme of things, what is a year?  It is a blip in your life.  If it takes a whole year to get your weight under control, so what?  You still have all those later years that will be better because of it.  Don't give up if you mess up on January 4.  Don't quit if you haven't lost all 30 pounds by April 15, or if you have a month with no changes.  Keep pressing forward.  It will be worth it.

Take it from a person who has lived this.  For the first time ever, I can enter the new year with a new mindset.  I'm not done yet.  But it is a lot less daunting thinking that I only need to lose 30 or 50 pounds instead of 150!  Let your resolution be that you will give yourself the chance to succeed.  Happy New Year, friends.