Chili

One of the coolest things about this whole process is hearing about how God is using it to help other people.  I keep hearing how this has been encouraging my friends and family members to look at food in a different way.  I find it absolutely mind-boggling to me that I could ever be an inspiration when it comes to food.  Talk about God using our weaknesses!  I have consistently been one of the worst people when it comes to food and health. For much of my life, I didn't even care.  Unintentionally, I have led so many of my friends into a life of poor food choices.  One time, I went through a list of my friends and how many of them gained weight after they started hanging out with me.  It was ridiculous.  I never made them eat poorly.  But I sure wasn't going to help them do better.  I made more people gain weight than soda.  That makes me feel good.

Anyway.  It is a different day.  As I work through this, I have been coming up with foods that will work and be more healthy.  If it is something especially awesome, I take pictures of it and send it to a few people - just to rub it in their face.  (Nice guy, I know.)  Usually it is accompanied by a name or description and some snarky comment.  Like "Man, this is a rough life" or "This diet is soooo rough."  Basically, I'm a punk.  Sometimes, when I mention something I made, someone will ask me for the recipe or whatever.  So, I decided that I would start posting some of the stuff from time to time.  I hope that is okay with you.

The other day, I made a big ole pot of chili.  (You have to use words like "ole" when you are talking about chili.)  'Twas stinking good, if you ask me - or any of the other people who ate it.  Very much tasty.  I had never made red chili.  I've made white chicken chili a whole bunch of times.  Shoot, I've made several kinds of white chili.  But I was always scared of red chili.  Don't ask me why.  It is just one of those foods that made me nervous.  I have always wanted to make it.  It's like homemade spaghetti sauce.  I want to make it, but it scares me.  So I usually cop out and just dump a jar of Classico in with some meat.  So, after having some chili this past weekend, I decided to give it a whirl.

So, here is the chili recipe - just in case you care.  Remember, this makes a bunch of chili.  That is a seven quart dutch oven there.  We got six HUGE bowls out of it - with each bowl carrying two heaping ladles full of chili.

• Two pounds lean ground beef
• Large spanish onion
• 2 cups Chicken Stock
• 4 tablespoons of Better Than Bouillon Chili Base
• 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
• 6 oz can of tomato paste
• 15 oz can of light kidney beans
• 15 oz can of dark kidney beans
• 15 oz can of red beans
• garlic powder
• red pepper
• tabasco sauce
• Emeril's Southwestern Essence
• 1 Bam Pack of Emeril's Essence
• Olive Oil
• Plain Greek Yogurt or Sour Cream (optional)
• Shredded cheese (optional)

Now, for those of you who need precise measurements, I am sorry that this will frustrate you.  I don't know exactly how much of those spices I used.  All I can say is that I used 4x as much garlic as SW Essence.  I used less red pepper than SW Essence.  And tabasco is something that kind of is determined by taste.  Of course, you can sub in for any of the seasoning.  If you would rather skip the Chili Base, just get a bag of chili spices and tweak it.  Or throw in some taco seasoning.  If you don't like Emeril, find him annoying, get someone else.  This is just what I have.

1. Put some olive oil in the pot.  I had to use more due to the cast iron pot.  If you use a nonstick, you can use less oil.  Heat up the oil on higher heat and then sauté the onion.  I used a BIG spanish onion with a rough chop.  I like the bigger pieces.
2. Once the onions are translucent, break up the ground beef in and cook it in the oil and onion.  I had the heat at med-high for this.  I keep moving the meat and onions around, which helped break up the beef.
3. As the meat is cooking, put in the chili base.  Mix it in really well with the beef.  That will give the meat a good flavor.  (This is the first time I ever used it and really liked it.)
4. Once the meat/onion/base mixture is good, turn the heat down to medium and dump in the crushed tomatoes.  Mix it all up and let it cook for about 15 minutes.
5. Dump in the Bam Pack, garlic, red pepper, and SW Essence.  Here's something I figured out.  Go ahead and make it more spicy than you want the finished product.  You still have some liquid to dump in, so the temperature will even out as you add stuff.
6. Let that all cook for a few minutes and then pour in the chicken stock.  Let it all simmer for another ten minutes or so.  You can snarf some now and see how it is.
7. Put in any tabasco you may desire to punch it back up after the stock enters the picture.  I didn't use much - but you may like hotter chili.
8. Dump in the tomato paste and mix it in well.  It will be stubborn, so just keep stirring.  I let the whole thing cook for another few minutes, stirring it every so often.
9. Drain and rinse the beans and dump them on in there.  I turned the chili down to low and let this cook for about twenty minutes, to give everything a chance to blend.  Be sure to keep stirring every couple of minutes so it doesn't stick, especially in a iron pot.  Taste it and see if you need to add anything.
10. Serve it up.  I topped mine with a spoonful of Greek Yogurt instead of sour cream.  It served the same purpose - made it creamier.  It had a little of that yogurt tangy taste, but it was good.  I know Heather and Greg both used some cheese on top too.  I didn't.

Of course, as we all know, one of the best things about chili is that it reheats so well.  So, go ahead and make more than you need.  It will actually be a little better the next day when you microwave it (about 2 1/2 to 3 minutes per bowl).  Or you can freeze it and then have awesome chili next week.

I hope you enjoy it.  Let me know if you make it and think it is good.  If you don't like it - keep your mouth shut.  :)

Lighten Up

So I haven't posted since the 18th.  I'm sure that some of you worried that I have made shipwreck.  But, things have been going very well on the food battle front.  I just have been very busy.  Last weekend, I was up in Jacksonville to teach some seminars at the Florida Baptist State College Conference.  It was great.  I love teaching and hanging out with the ministers there.  I got some bad news from a friend of mine there, which really bummed me out.  But I stayed strong on the food front.  On Monday, I was at 322 pounds.  So, I've lost 33 pounds so far.  (That included two this past weekend.)

There were the usual challenges that came from being out of town.  On Saturday, the hotel had nothing I could eat on their breakfast bar.  So Charles and I ran over to Publix to get yogurt and bananas.  For lunch, our awesome friend at the State Convention made sure we had salads to eat - even gave us two helpings of grilled chicken.  So, I figured out that to have the right quantity of chicken on a Chick Fil A grilled chicken sandwich, you need at LEAST one and a half servings.

It is really cool to see how people respond to my efforts.  They are very encouraging and helpful.  My friends at the conference patted me on the back.  They told me that they were trying to fix some of their eating habits, too.  That really is humbling.  I can't believe that I could be helpful to anyone on the weight issue.  But several people have been motivated through my blog - which is great.  My super awesome mother-in-law went out of her way to make sure that she had all the foods I needed at her house for our stay there.  She got Greek yogurt, veggies, meat.  It was awesome.

The most fun thing this past weekend was that I got to hang out with my friend, ministry partner, and chief food advisor - the legendary Charles Wise.  He has also been working on his weight - he's lost 30 pounds.  So we were in the same boat for the most part.  He isn't dealing with food addiction issues, too.  He's just eating better.  So, to celebrate how well I had been doing, we went to Ted's Montana Grill.  You have to understand, that is our absolute favorite restaurant.  Why?  One thing: bison.  They have bison meat.  They make burgers, ribs, chili, steaks, all sorts of bison stuff.  And we loooove bison.  It tastes like the best cow you can find, but without fat.  So, we try to go to Ted's any time we are near one.

Friday night, we hit Ted's.  I had a Kansas City Strip, broccoli, sliced tomatoes, and pickles.  (Their pickles are astounding - and I don't even like pickles.)  I wrestled with whether or not to get the chili to start.  I had been avoiding beans, since they are a starch.  But I went ahead and got it.  It was so good - and everything that I could eat.  On Saturday night, we went back.  This time, I had green beans, sliced tomatoes, pickles, chili, and a bison ribeye.  Again, awesome and completely on my diet.  (Don't pick on me for going twice in a row.  Charles went four times last week.)

I was nervous about eating chili twice - actually three times, thanks to Sunday night at HUDDLE HOUSE!!!  I was afraid that I was going to put on weight thanks to the bean introduction.  However, I lost two pounds.  So, that helped me to make a decision.  I've been on this diet for a month - very strict.  I had planned to kind of re-visit my efforts to see if I needed to tighten things up or not.  But, to my pleasant surprise, I actually have been able to lighten up a wee bit.  I'm still not eating starches.  But I am going to allow myself to have beans from time to time.  I also am not going to feel bad about having peanut butter with my banana or apple a few times a week.  Add I will allow me to have a glass of milk once in a while.  I had cut all those things out, to be safe.  But this is my lesson to not be legalistic about this whole thing.  (I'm making chili tonight and can't wait to scarf it down!)  I'm still going to be very strict on the addictive foods, as well as the starches that dominated my menu.

You don't know how great it feels to know that I have made so much progress that I can actually let food BACK in.  That is very encouraging.  Also, I am at the point where I am going to have to get a new belt.  My 46" belt has been on the last hole.  But today, my pants kept falling down.  If I don't have my shirt tucked it, my pants don't stay up.  (You know, thanks to my no-butt.)  Pretty soon, I will be able to actually have my pants where they belong - over my gut.  I have been trying to avoid buying clothes, since they are going to be so transitory.  But I think a belt is kind of an important thing.  Well, I am going to go check on my chili.  Don't be too jealous as you eat whatever you're having.  :)

The Week Between

This week has been hard.  I'm not sure why after four and a half weeks, I'm finally getting the occasional craving for my off limit foods.  I haven't had a whole lot of desire for those foods since I started this.  Sure, it is hard to sit in a room with people who are eating pizza.  But I have handled that fine.  I haven't wanted to drive off and sneak a pizza or a burger.  But the last copule of days, I have actually had those thoughts.  Last night, I desperately wanted some cake or cookies.  Today, I was at Sam's with Gabe after dropping Heather off at school.  We were in the frozen food section, and they had frozen steak subs.  I so bad wanted to find a sub place and get a steak sub - at 9:30am.  Then on the way home we drove by Itza Pizza.  I've never even been there and it probably isn't that good.  But, man, I wanted to go in there.

I was trying to think through why it has been so bad this week.  I came up with two main reasons.  First of all, this is the week between.  We are on the go more than your average family.  I would wager that we are not at our house about one out of every four weekends.  We are down in Tampa visiting my mom and sister.  Or we are in Middleburg visiting Heather's parents.  Or we are up in Rock Hill visiting Heather's brothers and their families.  And then there is the random Defender Ministries event in Orlando, or the very random trip.  So a couple of times a year we have trips on consecutive weekends.  The week between is always very rough.  Things are off kilter.  You have just gotten back from somewhere, which was exciting and different.  And you are about to go somewhere, which is exciting due to the anticipation.  But that week in between is hard.  You are rushing around, trying to get the laundry done.  You kind of unpack, but know that you have to re-pack in just a couple of days.  The food purchases and cooking have to be timed so things don't go bad when you aren't home.  So, there usually a more sparse supply of foodage.  Everything just is in flux.

Last weekend we were in Atlanta.  This next weekend we are going to Jacksonville.  I am teaching at the Florida Baptist Collegiate Conference and the family is staying with Heather's parents.  So this is a week between.  I always have a hard time during those days.  I kind of get depressed.  We had a ton of fun last week on our impromptu trip.  And I am REALLY looking forward to the conference.  I love teaching college kids and hanging out with these ministers.  Plus I get to hang out with Charles Wise for two days - and I miss him a lot.  It is always hard for me to not see the week as a waste of time, just kind of being in a holding pattern.  Add to it that Heather has had an awful week at school - tons of work.  Tuesday she was gone 8-8.  Today she had a mid-term, so she was studying like crazy last night.  Tomorrow she has her big weekly quizzes, so she has to study tonight.  I haven't had much time with her this week.  We haven't even been able to watch our shows this week!  You know how hard it is to know that there is an unseen episode of Lost on the DVR?  You have to avoid all kinds of websites and blogs and twitter updates.

This all was compounded by the other main reason that I have had a hard week.  I've been lonely this week.  I went to lunch on Tuesday with Greg.  It seems like every time that I get to hang out with someone, it actually makes it worse the following days.  I think that when I have a long stretch of not seeing anyone besides my family, I just kind of get numb to it.  I get used to being alone.  But when I actually get to see someone, it reminds me how badly I miss that.  So I want to have more interaction, which gets me down when that doesn't happen.  Today, I was hoping to have lunch with Heather.  But she has her weekly lunch with her prayer partner.  Then I tried to get in touch with a minister up here that I know.  He was meeting a bunch of students for lunch.  He said I could go, but I knew that it wasn't going to work for Gabe to do that.  Then I asked Greg, but he had plans already.  And that's all the people I know, basically.

I have been having a hard time dealing with the isolation this week.  I have been very frustrated with the slowness that seems to plague Defender Ministries' growth.  I have ideas all the time for how to spread the message we are teaching.  But every one of them requires money.  And we don't have any.  We are completely stuck.  Even if we wanted to apply for grants, we still need to copyright our stuff before entering those processes.  So, until we get money to go through that copyrighting obstacle course, we are just stuck in the mud.  That gets me upset.  And then God reminded me about Luke 16:10, where we are told that we need to be faithful in the small things.  That motivated me yesterday to be more engaged in my chores at the house.  But it also got me more down, bashing myself for things that I feel I haven't done as well as I should have.  Then I was reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  It is a good book - something that has kind of rekindled some passion for God.  But the chapter I'm in is one of those, "Here's a list of all the sucky things you do that proves that you are a lousy Christian."  I understand the benefit of being told you are a big pile of dirt.  I mean, the first half of Romans is like a giant beatdown administered by Paul - the literary equivalent of being taken behind the woodshed.  And I like Tony Evans BECAUSE he writes in a way to make you feel like a big loser.  However, there are times when I don't reapond so well to being told I'm a giant punk.  This week?  One of those times.

Now, I have presented an equation for a food meltdown.  If this were December of last year, I would have dealt with this particular set of circumstances in a very healthy and beneficial way.  I would have gone to Publix last night and purchased something like Double Stuf or ice cream or a cake.  This morning, I would have stopped by McDonald's while running errands for some sausage and cheese biscuits with a giant Coke.  Then for lunch, since I was left to eat by myself with Gabers, I probably would have gone to a sub shop or Checkers or something.  This all would have been my effort to make myself feel better.  And, this is where my brain immediately went today.  It's really interesting that even after a month of doing the right things, there still are neural pathways that are very active in pushing me in the wrong direction.  I haven't had any of those foods in weeks.  And I probably wouldn't even enjoy them - since my taste buds have been going through a reformation.  Add to it the shame, guilt, and failure.  Now I can see how dumb that would be.

I fought off the desires.  At Sam's I bought a big pack of red grapes.  My brother in law, Mike, had reminded me about frozen grapes the other day.  I like frozen grapes.  We used to eat them when I was growing up.  They are delicious on ice cream.  (Just kidding - they are not good on ice cream.)  So I have those in the freezer now, to be ready for night time.  Then I bought some ice-glazed chicken breasts.  I have chicken in the freezer, but those ice-glazed ones are so much easier to cook straight out of the freezer.  I thought it would be good to have those for lunch, so I can make them easily and quickly.  (This is of the essence when dealing with a two year old with a very small nap window.)  Then I came home and had my usual yogurt and banana for breakfast.

I have been really surprised to see the reasons why I ate like I did.  It wasn't just about food tasting good.  Because I still eat food that is good.  Last night, we had a turkey breast that was wonderful.  I really like good chicken.  [Do you know how few places even sell anything healthy?  I have always - even when I was eating like an idiot - always enjoyed well cooked chicken breast.  I remember all the restaurants that has great chicken.  Grady's American Grill had the best chicken I ever had - and then had a half dozen menu items that used it.  Long Horn has really good chicken.  Red Elephant is a new place I have found.  Why don't more places make good, healthy chicken?]  So a lot of my food choices were not just because of taste.  A lot of them had nothing to do with food at all - it was meeting some other need.  It is no wonder nothing I ever did to fix my weight every worked.  I was fighting the wrong battle.  Now, each time I am confronted with an old enemy, I really try to analyze it and see what is truly happening.  When I successfully navigate that challenge, it feels like another chain is broken.  That helps me feel better about facing the next week between.

The Battle Rages

First the good news.  As a follow up to the Battle of Atlanta post, I ended up losing two pounds over the weekend.  That brought me up to 28 for the first four weeks.  Basically, I lost the same amount of weight as Gabe weighs.  Nice.  So that was a complete WIN!

Now, for the bad report.

Some people believe the Bible doesn't have much to teach us in these more "modern times."  It has lost its relevance and ability to speak - unless it is filtered through catchy tweaks and familiar language and winning theme weeks.  But, I disagree.  I find verses that talk to me all the time.  For example, one today was mentioned in Francis Chan's excellent and challenging book Crazy Love.  Philippians 3:19 talks about the enemies of Christ, whose "god is their stomach."  It really jammed a finger into my chest, as I realized that described me.  Well, up until a month ago when I came to the point where I didn't want that any more.

The other passage I was thinking about recently was from 1 Kings 19.  I actually think about this passage any time I have a big success or victory in my life.  In 1 Kings 18, we see Elijah at the front of one of the greatest victories I can imagine.  God dropped fire from heaven and burned up the sacrifice, the pagan king and queen were humiliated, the evil prophets were destroyed.  Major victory.  If elijah was writing a blog, he would have written a post called "Battle of Carmel."  He would have ended the itemized recitation of victory with "WIN!"  So, where do we find the triumphant Elijah in 1 Kings 19.  Was he riding in floats around the city, screaming "Whoeth Dat?  Whoeth Dat!"  Was he flipping over chariots and setting fires?  Nope.  He was laying under a tree asking God to kill him.

When I first really grasped this verse about fifteen years ago, I realized that human wisdom has it all backwards.  We always think we are weakest after a loss.  The truth is, we are weakest after a win - especially a big, magnificent, unexpected win.  Think about it.  You put your all into it.  You exhausted your supplies of energy.  The win happened, and you were dead tired.  Everyone was celebrating, patting your back, giving you tons of encouragement.  And, for maybe just a moment, you believed the hype.  As a result, your guard dropped.  You maybe didn't prepare enough for the next day.  You didn't give your all - or maybe your all was half of what it was because you were so tired.  Whatever it was, it was enough to trip you up right.  After the glory of the win, there was the crushing defeat.

I remember back in college, I played intramural football and floor hockey for the Baptist Collegiate Ministries at UCF.  (What?  Yes, I actually played.  I was good too.  I also played soccer and softball, but we sucked, so they are irrelevant to the story.)  It happened in both sports.  One year, in football, we had gotten into the playoffs on the heels of an unexpected win.  And then the next game, against Army ROTC, we had to play in a deluge and got our rear ends handed to us.  In floor hockey, it was even worse.  For the playoffs, the games were at different times than regular season.  So our first playoff game we played Army ROTC (stinking ROT-C).  We were underdogs to begin with.  But it was worse because we only were able to field three of our six players, since that was all we had at game time.  The rules were you had to have three players to start, four players by the end of the first period, or you had to forfeit.  We went out there with three players and tried to play.  I played defense - like the entire defense. We had one guy on offense.  And we had a goalie.  As you can imagine, we quickly went down 4-0.  Our fourth player sprinted into the gym right before the end of the period.  We were all exhausted.  I was considering high sticking someone in the mouth to get a break.  It was 6-0 at one point.  But by the end of the first period, we were down 6-1.  Then enough players showed up to actually get to the full number.  We actually were completely stoked, since we were only down five goals and our best players had just showed up.  We went out there and started to claw back.  Me and the other guy on defense said that ROTC had scored their last points - we may have even told them that.  "I hope that's enough, because you aren't getting any more."  The whole gym started to get into the game.  ROTC started getting angry at the fact they were losing their grip on a game they had no business losing.  We ended up winning the game 8-6.  Delirium.  Next game?  Got whipped.

All of that to say that yesterday and today were rough days.  I did fine yesterday.  The kids were out of school, so I got them McDonald's for lunch after we took Heather to school.  It is always hard to smell McDonald's in the car, but I handled it.  I made myself tuna salad and reheated a bowl of my tomato soup I made.  For dinner, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings - Heather got out of class right at dinner time, so our whole schedule got thrown off.  I knew that they had grilled chicken tenderloins there.  I got them with a side salad.  The low-fat raspberry vinaigrette was so sweet - sugar the number two ingredient.  I can't handle that anymore.  So yesterday wasn't too bad.

Today, though, was where things got really bad.  First thing in the morning, I had to take the kids to school.  After that, I ran to Publix with Gabe.  Here is a rule of thumb.  If you are dieting, fasting, changing your approach to food, DO NOT go to Publix before 9am.  They are still baking breads and desserts in the bakery.  They are frying up chickens and chicken tenders in the Deli.  The whole store smells of delicious carbs.  I hadn't eaten breakfast.  (Dumb dumb)  I quickly got what I needed, forgetting the toilet paper (foreshadowing), and raced out of there.  Then I had to hurry and get my shower, because I had to run an errand for Heather.  Once a month, one of her student groups has a luncheon.  Since she is in class that morning, and the other students all are uncooperative punks (that's not the reason - but I think they don't try to hard since I'm around), I have to pick the food up for them.  The first one was Publix, but I wasn't on a diet so I was okay.  The second time was picking up subs from Subway.  I hadn't eaten, but I just went and got my own sub later.  The third time was picking up pizzas.  This was during my juice fast.  I had to drive with twenty pizzas in the car while starving.  Wonderful.  This time, it was Sonny's BBQ.  I was very hungry at this point.  No breakfast, tortured at Publix, toting BBQ in the car.  I dropped it off and went to get lunch.

Being legitimately hungry really damages your thinking process.  I was meeting my friend Greg for lunch.  We picked this sports bar named Hobbit's.  I figured that most sports bars have grilled chicken sandwiches.  I could just get a side salad and eat the chicken off.  Well, this wasn't most sports bars.  They had a chicken sandwich.  When I asked how big it was, the waitress made a circle with her hands that looks pretty small.  Not what I was going for.  I needed a good sized chicken patty if I was going to get that.  The rest of their menu was pretty slim pickings for me.  Lots of fried foods, sandwiches, appetizers.  It was a pretty stupid place to go, especially when your default selection was eliminated.  They did have wings, though.  As I mentioned in the Atlanta post, I'm not a wing fan.  I don't know much about wings.  I kind of assumed that most wings are grilled - or that you can get them that way.  I don't always think about the fact they are fried.  These were fried, but without breading.  So I thought that was my best option.  "I'll just get the wings, get a veggie basket, no biggie."  I think that I have forgotten a bit of how restaurants do things.  I have been eating so much "naked food" that I don't think about sauces - or I just rely on my yogurt sauces or vinegar based stuff.  I picked three different flavors: carolina gold bbq, fiesta ranch, jalapeno lime ranch.  I should have done the last one alone.

The jalapeno one was very good.  It was a white sauce, but thin and applied in a reasonable amount.  The fiesta one was white and goopy - like paste.  It was ok, but I scraped some off.  The Carolina was this orange color and just drenched on it.  It was a western NC sauce - mustard not vinegar.  It was good, but for four of the wings, I wiped them off with a paper towel.  I ate a bunch of the carrots and celery and hoped it would offset the overdose of sauce.  I left feeling pretty bad - it was a mistake to order the stuff.  Sure, I had avoided the burgers, bread, cheese, subs.  And I didn't get a food I have an issue with. But it still was a bad choice.

By the time I git home, my body was sure to remind me of how stupid it was.  I had to race upstairs with Gabe so I could get into the bathroom in time.  After I picked up the other two kids, I got to visit the facilities again in a rushed manner.  (Really wish I had remembered the toilet paper.)  I still feel gross.  And to make things worse, I've been hungry all afternoon.  I may not have had a huge failure, but my judgement was poor and it cost me.  It won't derail my efforts.  I don't see it driving me into a downward spiral into the arms of the Pillsbury Dough Man.  It probably won't even hurt the weight loss.  But it cost me an afternoon of feeling bad, which I, for the most part, don't struggle with any more.  And it shook my momentum a little bit - made me have to deal with doubts and questions that I had been putting behind me.  I guess it shows how far I have come that I actually see this as a defeat.  Also, the fact that I still managed to avoid the bigger trouble spots shows something.  I just need to regroup and make sure I'm more careful to not get cornered in a situation like that again.  It was a good teaching opportunity and warning.  I will learn the lesson and heed the warning,  That way I can even count this loss as a win.

Battle of Atlanta

Well, first of all, I can see no one was impressed with my butt post.  Much apologies if I offended anyone.  I just was thinking about that, so I posted it.  This blog is kind of a journal of my food addiction efforts.  Not everything I think is going to be worthwhile, I guess.  In the future, I'll keep my opinions about my rear to myself.

This past weekend, we decided to be completely spontaneous and take the kids up to Georgia.  Why?  Well, it was snowing.  The older two kids never had seen snow.  Gabe had seen it when he was one and didn't like it.  We had heard about the snow storm hitting the south, and we figured this was the time to go for it and make a good weekend for the kids.  So we decided really quick to jump in the van and drive up to Atlanta.  Well, on Friday night we drove to Macon.  Then on Saturday we drove up to Atlanta and visited the Georgia Aquarium (amazing) and the World of Coke (meh).  We stayed there last night and then drove home today.

Now, as far as my food efforts go, this weekend should have been a disaster.  In fact, I was very worried going into the trip that I was going to have a very hard time doing things right.  Here are some reasons why the cards were stacked against me:

1. We left in a hurry.  This means that we didn't take our time to think through things as much and double and triple check stuff.  That means that we forgot things.  Like my new big bag of almonds.  And my Prilosec and daily vitamins.  That doesn't bode well.
2. We were not staying with friends or family.  This meant we couldn't buy food and stock it in the fridge to make things work.  We were staying in two different hotels in two different cities.  We were at the mercy of restaurants, hotel fare, and attraction food.
3. I  like trying new restaurants.  I have always enjoyed eating at new places in new cities.  I try not to go to chains when I'm traveling (unless it is Ted's Montana Grill).  I want to experience local places -which are usually better and/or cheaper.  My break of this rule is when there is a chain that we don't have in Florida - like In N Out or Jack in the Box or Fat Burger.  (Yes, there was a Fat Burger two minutes from our hotel in Atlanta.)
4. Fresh and healthy foods are more expensive.  I really think that the food controlling elements of our society have conspired to make us fat.  They charge twice as much for healthy food.
5. Lots of driving time.  As I stated in a previous post, I love to snack in the car.  Snacking usually means sugar or tons of salt or whatever.

So, this was what I was facing.  Things didn't get easier up there.  The La Quinta breakfast had nothing I could eat.  We ended up having to eat at the Georgia Aquarium.  (Do NOT do that if you can help it.  Believe me.  More expensive than Disney's food prices.)  There were tons of places I would have loved to eat: Pappadeux's, Fat Burger, The Varsity.  We went to the World of Coke - where they gave out free samples of sodas of the world.  They also gave everyone free Cokes to take home.  The pizza place I ordered dinner for everyone from had NOTHING for me to eat - so I had to sit there and watch everyone eat pizza until I could run out and get myself something.

However, I have come to the place in this battle where I follow this motto.  I would rather not eat than eat something bad.  Don't get worried, I'm not becoming anorexic or anything.  But when I am faced with the apparent option of only eating something wrong, I choose door number two.  That door is no food.  I will survive if I have to miss a meal.  It doesn't happen that often.  And I can always get something later that will work.  I don't have to pick something bad.  So, following this credo, I told myself that I was not going to fail.  Here's the rundown of what happened.

• Friday Dinner:  We went through a Taco Bell drive through for everyone.  The kids and Heather got their stuff.  But Mexican is a no-no for me.  So I didn't get anything.  This was VERY hard, because I love Taco Bell.  And one my favorite items is being highlighted again.  But I wasn't going to screw up right away.  Instead, I waited about an hour until we got to Moultrie, GA and I went to Chick Fil A and got a grilled chicken sandwich, large fruit cup, and water.  I tossed the bun and just ate the meat.  WIN!
• Friday Snack:  We had to stop and get Gabe some more Gatorade.  So I grabbed a bag of salted almonds.  I usually avoid those, but I would need them.  Good thing I got them.  WIN!
• Saturday Dinner:  Hotel breakfast was a no go for me.  I literally couldn't have anything there.  So everyone else ate and I didn't.  We got in the car to head to Atlanta from Macon.  I munched on some more of the almonds in the car.  Basically, I had to skip breakfast.  WIN!
• Saturday Lunch:  Georgia Aquarium.  Ruh roh.  Burgers, pizza, chicken tenders.  Tons of cupcakes and desserts that looked delicious.  BUT, they had a "make your own salad" station.  I went there and got spinach leaves, chicken, turkey, ham, peppers, cukes, carrots.  I added a fruit cup and water.  And I didn't touch the baked goods.  WIN!
• Saturday Snack:  We were at the World of Coke.  There were "over 64 flavors to try."  I avoided all of those "over 64 flavors."  WIN!
• Saturday Dinner:  This was one of the hardest efforts.  The room service was ridiculous, even with our $25 food credit.  So I ordered the kids a pizza and Heather spaghetti.  I was exhausted and didn't want to go anywhere.  I wanted someone to bring me food.  But this Italian place had nothing I could eat.  Literally nothing - except for hot wings.  I hate hot wings (except for Willie Thomas' from down in Orlando.  He can make me hot wings any days he wants.)  But I had no choice.  "Uh, we're out of chicken wings."  What?!?  I felt like Tommy Boy.  "Davey wants wingies!"  The menu boasted calzones, subs, pizza.  I really was battling.  I knew I was going to have to go out somewhere.  Again, tons of pitfalls all over.  A big Mexican place, Fat Burger, Wendy's.  I ended up going to Arby's and getting a roast beef sandwich and a roast chicken sandwich.  I ate the meat off and tossed the buns.  WIN!
• Sunday Breakfast:  We used our food credit for breakfast.  There was one thing on the menu I could have.  It was a fruit smoothie - fruit puree, yogurt, and honey.  So I got it.  It was gross.  The honey made it sickeningly sweet.  I haven't had sugar in a month.  So it doesn't take much to be too much.  But I drank it.  WIN!
• Sunday Lunch:  I intentionally looked for a Cracker Barrel.  I was tired of having to scrape things together for meals.  I knew I could get something at Cracker Barrel.  We found one around 12:00 - it was overflowing thanks to church people.  (stinking church people)  We kept driving and found another one at 12:45.  I got grilled chicken tenderloins, carrots, side salad, and turnip greens (nasty).  Another water.  And I deftly avoided the candy attack on the way out.  WIN!
• Sunday Snack:  I didn't have any almonds left.  So I just nursed a bottle of water along and ate nothing.  WIN!
• Sunday Dinner:  We were back home.  It was Valentine's Day.  And I knew we didn't have a lot of stuff to pull together quick.  So as we drove back through town, I diverted to Fresh Market.  Braving the insane crowds, I got Heather and I some steaks from the meat department.  [I also scored some dried vegetable chips and low sugar peanut butter.]  When I got home I broiled the steaks, sauteed some spinach, and heated up some of my leftover roasted tomato soup.  WIN! WIN! WIN!

So I won the Battle of Atlanta!  Yay me.  I will know tomorrow when I do my post-weekend weigh in how it affected me.  I tried to drink a lot of water to keep from the normal travel swelling.  I also avoided the cured meat sticks.  So we'll see.  Overall, though, I have to say I was impressed with my efforts.  We had a great weekend, lots of good memories.  And I was able to go the whole time without even eating anything against my diet.  It was truly an epic victory!  Woo hoo!

My Butt

We're all friends here, right?  I have been pretty transparent with all of you about this whole process.  Well, there is one thing vexing me right now.  When a person loses weight, it never goes the way you expect it to.  Foods you never expect become trouble spots.  Your body doesn't do what you want it to.  And no matter how hard you try, how good you are, there are some things you just can't control.  It is so troublesome, it made me write haiku.

Losing weight is great,
But never in the right place.
Where's my bottom line?


That's right.  Of all the weight I have lost, it appears that my body has focused on reducing my butt.  I know there are many women out there who would be thrilled to have that happen. But, you see, I didn't have much of a butt to begin with.  It is a Staples family trait.  My father had no butt.  My sons do not have very large behinds.  And I don't have much of a booty either.  Most normal people have some sort of roundness going on behind them.  My back just goes straight down into my legs.  It is really a bit ridiculous.

It makes it difficult to find pants.  They just slide down, which means I have to cinch my belt tight enough to make my eyes bug out to keep them up.  Add to it that most of my weight is concentrated in my belly.  I have to keep my pants belted under my belly, allowing it to hang down.  This means there is really nothing to stop the pants from slipping.  There have been numerous times where I found myself desperately grabbing the back of my pants to keep them up as I climbed stairs or carried Gabe.  That is always the best time - when you are carrying a baby and a big bag of groceries and you feel the waistband sliding down.  You just hope you can wiggle and squirm to avoid a full moon at midday.  And that was when I weighed a lot.  But, (no pun intended - maybe a small pun) now it is even worse.

I noticed it after my first week.  Dieters spend a lot of time looking at themselves in the mirror.  They want to see progress.  So I try to figure out if my belly is shrinking or if my face looks thinner.  And I noticed something was missing.  My butt had apparently disappeared.  Sure, it left behind a big of droopy skin.  But the butt was gone.  I got a bit irritated at the entire diet - almost like it was an entity.  "Oh sure!" I yelled at The Diet.  "Take my butt.  Ignore the GIANT MOUND OF BELLY right on the other side.  Go for the butt."  It seems a bit silly to yell at a anthropomorphized diet.  But who am I going to blame?  I guess no one.  However, I wish I could.

Seriously.  I have plenty to offer The Diet.  My belly is first on my list.  I have these freaky man boobs - moobs, I guess.  They are more than welcome to leave.  That bizarre hypotenuse of fat between my chin and neck is also allowed to be removed.  But, please, stop taking the one thing holding up my pants.  I have already had to drop down from my 48" belt to my 44" belt - and it is on the last hole.  Does it help?  Just ask the poor people who live across the parking lot from me.  I'm sure they have had to endure the disturbing sight of a band of pale flesh peeking out from between my sweatshirt and jeans when I come back from taking the kids to school.

The weird thing is that as the diet progresses, I will drop down in waist size, and then go back up.  Eventually, my stomach will shrink enough that I will actually be able to button my pants over my gut.  That will mean I need my bigger belt.  And it will give my tail some assistance in the pants retention department.  Until then, just try to avoid walking behind me when I have to climb stairs or carry things.

It is strange, the fact that after you lose all this weight you have these unintended results.  There's the disappearing butt.  There's the appearance of more wrinkles since the face is no longer so full and puffy, like a juice injected chicken breast.  And there's the extra skin.  I can already see that happening on my stomach.  I hate that so much.  It just stays there.  It is kind of a reminder.  Even though there is so much progress, there are these marks that take so much longer to go away.  And to really completely eliminate them, it requires extreme measures - surgery, tons of exercise, weight training.   It brings home the devastating effects of sin.  Even if you can make things right, there are still scars and damage that are carried with you.  God forgives us.  He makes us clean.  But we still live with the consequences.  Forgiveness doesn't make it all better.  It repairs the relationships.  It makes us healthy.  But we still have things to carry with us.  Kind of a good reminder.  So next time you are struggling with sin that is easily entangling, just think of my butt.  That should take care of it.

Home is Where the Health Is

So the last few days have been kind of frustrating.  Things are still going relatively well.  But there hasn't been much progress on the weight front.  I know people will say that I may still be losing size, but not weight this week.  But I don't feel smaller, and I don't feel like I'm making much progress.  I kind of am treading water.  Actually - I probably am holding water.  Haha.

I think the reason for this is the accursed eating out issue.  We have been very good at scaling back our trips to restaurants over the years.  But we all know that there are time where you just have to end up there. It may be travel or trying to grab something in between errands.  Either way, it seems just about impossible to avoid restaurants completely.  There are several problems with the whole restaurant experience.

WRONG OPTIONS

Face it.  There is never exactly what you want or need at a restaurant.  So you have to fit your diet into the menu you are staring at.  So, there are compromises.  I have been on a very regimented diet.  I have certain things that I eat - meat, veggies, fruit.  But I have to find ways to make that work.  So I negotiate with myself.  "Well, I guess that's okay, since it technically meat or veggies."  I do pretty good, but I can feel my resolve slipping.  This marinade is okay, then this sauce is okay, then this dressing is okay, then this side is okay.  Before long, I know that I will be back on the track to fatdom.  I know of places that work okay, but none of them are perfect.

Fast food places are the worst.  They claim to have healthy options.  But their options are horrible.  I have had to stop at fast food places a few times in the last month.  Each time, I end up having to put up with one of their pathetic attempts at a "salad."  The problems with these salads is that they usually are stuffed full with lettuce, sporting a wad of cheese on them and hardly any other vegetables.  They have usually one good dressing option.  And then they come with packs of stuff worse that what you are trying to avoid.  And the chicken they put on top is just one of the grilled patties off their sandwiches - complete with the caked on bullion mix.  Wendy's and BK both had this nasty stuff on the chicken patties.  I'm assuming it was "flavoring."  It looked like hair cream and tasted like salt.  Wendy's gives you packets of oriental noodles and croutons.  Chick Fil A at least didn't cake their chicken in goop.  But they gave me two bags of granola.  And the salad was not very filling.  The chicken itself - the thing that brings the substance to the salad - is usually three ounces at best.

There always seems to be something that doesn't work - even on good meals.  So you have to decide what to just deal with - which is the least bad compromise?  If that goes on, though, it becomes a constant way to undermine the effort.  

STINKING ADDITION

Even if you find a place, like Boston Market, that has some great options, they still do stupid stuff with their food.  The first and biggest trap is sodium.  There is tons more sodium in prepared food than in fresh food.  Just take a look some time at some labels.  Restaurants are especially bad about dumping in the sodium.  They have lots of prepared food to build from, which means there is more sodium in those.  The meats all have stuff injected into them - mostly broths with sodium.  That adds up.  What is the big idea about the sodium?  Well, aside from the minor annoyances like high blood pressure and heart issues, there is the water retention.  That throws off your weight loss and your slimming process.  It makes you crave more water, and then it turns your eight glasses into four, since half of it used to just deal with the salt influx.

Restaurants also use tons of stuff like butter, oil, sugar.  Even when you don't expect it, those things get snuck into your food.  Did you know that a lot of steak places put butter on their steaks after they are done?  Even the Boston Market good selections - like steamed vegetables and green beans - are doused with butter.  What use is it to go to the extent of ordering steamed or grilled vegetables, only to have them drenched in butter?  So, even when you think you are doing well by forfeiting the fries, you are still getting butter.  (Not a spritz either.  You know those things bathe in the stuff.)

CHEATING IS SO DARN EASY
Last night we went out with Heather's parents to celebrate her mom's birthday.  We went to Logan's Roadhouse - a steak place down the street.  It was good.  I've always like Logan's.  I ordered a New York Strip (my favorite steak), grilled vegetable skewer, and their "health nut side salad" with balsamic vinaigrette.  The steak was awesome.  The veggie skewer was great, and not too buttery.  Both of those things had a lot of salt, but that is normal for steak house seasonings.  The salad was pretty lame - too much dressing and it was nowhere near as good as stuff I have in my fridge.  Over all, I felt that my choices were sounds.  But....

The waiter brought out two baskets of yeast rolls, complete with mini butter tubs.  I didn't eat the rolls, but I had to sit there with the smell of those rolls tempting me for an hour.  After the meal, they brought out the dessert menu.  They have little desserts there - 3 for $5.  They were great for the kids and everyone, since we obviously didn't have birthday cake at the house.  But then I was sitting there watching everyone eat mini brownie sundaes, strawberry cheesecakes, and peanut butter fudge parfaits.  And Gabe didn't finish his, so it was just sitting there in front of me for ten minutes.  He also didn't finish his fries, which just sat there.  You know how hard it is to not snitch fries off a plate?  Or to not take a roll?  Or to ignore an uneaten dessert?  I don't have that stuff at home so I'm not tempted.  But when you are out to eat, there is a huge temptation everywhere you turn.

Every menu has minefields all over the place.  There are appetizers and bread and dessert trays.  I drove through the Zaxby's drive through yesterday.  It was almost 3pm and I hadn't eaten lunch thanks to a ridiculous wait at the doctor for the boys.  I was hoping they had grilled chicken tenderloins.  They didn't have them.  The only had a grilled sandwich or a salad.  Hard to eat a salad in the car, and the sandwich is just asking for trouble.  But they did have white cheddar nuggets - basically fried cheese.  That is one of my absolute trouble spots.  I have always had the hardest time turned down fried cheese sticks ever since I first tried them at Red Lobster so many moons ago.  I just drove away.  There are so many of those disasters available.


FATAL ATTRACTION
As I documented in an earlier post, my attraction to restaurants has led to many of my food issues.  Restaurants feel more fun than eating at home.  And the desire for more "fun food" will often push me towards a restaurant.  Even though my eating habits have changed, I can still feel this pull.  There are many times where I sit there and think I don't want to make dinner.  I don't want to make yet another chicken dish or another pile of spinach.  I want something more intriguing.  So I end up wanting to go out.  This is a big problem.  As I mentioned earlier, restaurants are places with lots of bad things added to food.  They are places to cheat and make mistakes.  You end up getting a bunch of stuff you don't want or need.  So the attraction to eating out means it is playing with fire.  I end up having to rationalize picking something.  When you get right down to it, there are only like four or five items that are okay to eat.  And, honestly, they aren't that much better than what you could make at home.  So, it ends up costing more money and messing up the food plan I worked so hard to establish.  But, that draw doesn't go away.

Heather and I discussed this on the way home today.  There are times where eating out is necessary.  And there are times when it is something to do for a special occasion.  But eating out for normal meals just is not good.  It introduces too many problems - additives, bad choices, chances to cheat, compromises.  But, beyond all that, there is also the basic problem that I have an unhealthy relationship with restaurants.  It draws me away from cooking food at home.  Even when I know that I can make food better and healthier, even when I know that it is damaging to me, I still am drawn to restaurants.  Sure, the food choices I am making at these places may be better.  But it still isn't the best thing for me.  I need to realize that my effort to change my eating habits needs to extend to where I eat as well.  I may order great stuff at Boston Market or Red Elephant, but I still may be hurting my addiction battle.  For that reason, I need to be more careful.  Yet another lesson learned.

Super Bowl

I've mentioned before that the Super Bowl is a big deal to me - it always has been.  Growing up, that was one of the special days in our family.  We would set up the card table in the tv room and be able to eat in there instead of the dining room.  For a long time, we would get pizzas.  But we also some years would be able to pick a frozen dinner - another thing that we were never able to get.  My dad would put together snack trays.  It was tons o' fun.

After I went away to school, the party continued.  I remember that they had a Super Bowl party at UCF in the Wild Pizza one year.  We watched the Cowboys whip up on the Buffalo Bills.  Instead of an intimate family gathering, now I moved into more of a party mode.  We would have Super Bowl parties at church or at the Baptist Campus Ministries - one year I had to shuttle between a party at each one!  There were chili cookoffs, pizza pigouts, burgers and dogs.  One year our church rented out the UCF Arena and showed the game.  Several years we had a big church gathering at someone's house - usually a "bring your own dish to share" deal.

As far as food goes, the Super Bowl is a time to eat non stop.  You start eating as you are waiting for the game to start - during the endless hours of hype.  Then the main course is presented near the front end of the game.  And then the snacking continues throughout the whole game.  Chips, crackers, dips, pizza, wings, cheese, burgers, dogs, cookies, brownies.  I love parties like that.  You just kind of graze.  But you don't really feel bad about it because literally everyone is doing it.  Completely acceptable.  And the food is usually all pretty bad for you - but, again, no one cares.  It is like during Christmas when everyone snarfs cookies like crazy.  No biggie.  Just part of the holidays.

Well, this was one of the biggest obstacles for me as I began my addiction attack.  I knew the Super Bowl was looming.  I even considered waiting until after the Big Game to start changing things.  And, naturally, there was a lot of temptation to "take the day off."  But I knew that I couldn't do that.  I needed to actually fight in a different way.  Instead of thinking about all the stuff I was missing, I needed to make my Super Bowl party so awesome that I didn't care.  I began planning last week and came up with several ideas.  My buddy Greg invited us over to his house for the festivities - which also meant we had access to a grill.  My plan was ready to set into motion.

Pretty rough spread, huh?  Yeah, it was tough going, but we survived.  Let me break it down for you piece by piece.

VEGGIE TRAY:  My kids love veggies.  This was actually Natalie's most anticipated element.  I have been trying to eat more vegetables.  And I prefer veggies cold.  But there is that nasty little catch of the dip.  Everyone knows that veggies need dip, otherwise you are just eating foliage.  But dip is so horrible for you.  Well, I went to my Greek yogurt well one more time.  I got a packet of Hidden Valley Ranch dip spices mix.  And then, instead of the suggested 16 ounce container of sour cream, I got the Oikos Greek yogurt.  Mix and viola.  Tasted exactly the same.  Maybe even a little better - the tangy yogurt brought a new dimension.  The kids loved it.  And I thought it was great.  The change in calories, fat, sodium, carbs, and increase in protein was stunning.  Absolutely unbelievable.  (I'm telling you - Greek yogurt.  I replaced mayo in tuna salad with it the other day too.)

FRUIT TRAY:  Again, we all love fruit.  Thanks to Sam's, we got a precut fruit tray for $10.  (They also were the source of the veggie tray for $10.)  Then I added some strawberries, bananas, and apples.  And to top it all off (literally), I got a container of lowfat vanilla yogurt.  Very good stuff.  I ended up not cutting the apple because the rest of the fruit was so good, that we didn't need it.  Vanilla yogurt is just so good that it really brings ou the fruit.

CHICKEN BREAST TENDERLOINS:  So, this is the big challenge.  How do you overcome the lure of pizza, hamburgers, wings, and other stuff like that.  I decided to come up with a tasty chicken option.  I bought a bottle of mojo marinade and a bottle of balsamic roasted onion marinade.  I put a pound of chicken in one bag and a pound in the other last night.  Then we grilled them at Greg's.  It was almost like having wings there - small and easy to handle.  They were amazing in flavor.  Very juicy and tasty.  And when you dipped them in the veggie dip, even better.

OTHER STUFF:  We also made hot dogs - especially for the kids.  And Greg got chips also.  I didn't touch any of that stuff.  I was tempted to snarf a few chips.  There was a new flavor Greg had found.  But I just had to tell myself not to do it.

I was perfectly satisfied to eat the chicken, fruit, veggies, and assorted dips.  I grazed from before the game until halftime.  And I didn't feel bad about it at all.  There was nothing wrong with what I ate.  It was good for me.  And it tasted awesome.  I am so excited about the discoveries I'm making in helping me fight this fight.  The Greek yogurt has been huge.  I have used it to make a creamy tomato sauce.  I used it to make tuna salad.  I used it to make several sauces and dips.  It is so versatile - and just a great option.  Finding marinades helps to add flavor without adding tons of calories - especially when they have a vinegar base.  Each time I beat back a tough situation, that victory invigorates me for days.  Last night, when I figured out the tuna option, I did a little dance.  When I tasted the food tonight, I was so happy.  It wasn't the same kind of happiness that came from food before.  This happiness was from feeling a new chain break.  A little bit of freedom had appeared.  And that is actually joy.  Do I enjoy what I'm eating?  Sure, most of the time.  I don't think that is bad because God made food for us to enjoy.  But the enjoyment is not the same thing that I used to experience.  That was a false happiness.  This is real joy.

And it certainly didn't hurt that the Saints won.

FIghting the Watch and Wallet

One of the most frustrating things about a food/diet/lifestyle change is that you aren't just fighting your own desires for food or whatever.  You aren't just fighting boredom or outside influences.  You aren't just battling ingrained behaviors.  You also are battling two things that seem very much out of control: your watch and your wallet.  That is one of the biggest frustrations that I have had to deal with in these past few days of this effort of mine.  Changing my eating and approach to food has not been limited to changing what I put in my fridge.  It also has forced me to change my whole daily schedule and the way I use my money.

The time issue has been particularly vexing.  We are busy - just like most families.  Admittedly, we are not as busy as many families.  We don't have sports leagues and dance recitals to run all over the place for.  We've intentionally forfeited some of those to avoid being gone all the time.  But we have the normal time restraints.  There is homework and bedtime and cleaning up the house.  Due to parking issues at FSU, I drive Heather to school several days a week - and then pick her up after class.  That usually lands in the middle of dinner preparation time.  In days past, what I would do on nights like that is resort to something easy and quick.  I had a stock of those items in the freezer and pantry for that reason.  Frozen ravioli heats up quick - the whole process takes 25 minutes from putting water in the pan to pulling the sauced entree out of the oven.  Hamburger patties can be defrosted and cooked quick.  Frozen pizzas cook up in 20 minutes.  Pasta with sauce on it takes hardly time.

Well, the problem is that now I can't eat any of those things.  And Heather isn't eating most of those things..  So there isn't a fast option all the time.  Roasts take a long time to cook - hours instead of minutes.  Chicken has to defrost and get made up - along with sides that need microwaved and such.  In addition, the dishes multiply even faster.  Instead of a pan, or a pot and pan, there are multiple pots and bowls and plates.  All of this contributes and dinner becomes a long ordeal instead of a quick hit.  We have always tried to get dinner going around 5:45-6:00.  That gives us time to eat and then get things done afterwards before bedtime.  Since the diets began, our dinner time has drifted back to 7:00, or even 7:30 some nights.  The kids go to bed right after, which means they have to do everything before dinner - which can get hairy when we are getting Heather.

Last night I went out to the FSU Signing Day party with Greg Ramer.  It was nice to get out of the house and hang out with Greg.  But I left our house at 4:40 to get Heather, got back home at 5:30, left at 5:35 to go to Greg's, got to his house at 5:55, left right then to go the event, which started at 6:00.  They had food there, but the lines were already huge with the throngs of people who got there before the doors opened.  And the food all was sandwiches and cookies and chips and brownies.  So we ended up not eating.  I got home around 8:45 and needed to find something to eat.  You can't just "whip something up" at 8:45 when you can't use the fast options.  So I ended up eating two cold pieces of roast beef.

When you add in exercise, which I am trying to do, that is another chunk of time.  I can't go walking when I have the kids with me.  Our apartment complex is not the best places to be walking around the parking lots with kids.  There are a lot of blind corners and the drivers take most of the curves very wide.  Our fitness center is nice, and they have a little kids area.  But you basically put the kid in there and hope they play and don't climb over the tiny gate.  (Yeah right)  They don't have a dvd player.  And I know Gabe well enough to know he would just scream at me the whole time.  That would get my heart racing - especially since the fitness center is in the same building as the leasing office - as in they are right next to each other.  SO that leaves either getting up an hour early to walk or going out at night to do it after the kids are in bed.  Needless to say, that is proving difficult.

Time is a huge barrier to good health and eating habits.  But the bigger barrier may be money.  The fact is, it is cheap to eat crap.  I know that is a coarse way to say it, but it's true.  You can get frozen pizzas for $3 or $4.  Bags of ravioli are $5.  Burgers are cheap.  Pasta is cheap.  The stuff to make tacos and quesadillas is cheap.  Mac and cheese is cheap.  Pizza is made cheap.  And eating out at fast food places or ordering pizza APPEARS cheap.  Even though the money comparison proves otherwise, it is all about perception.  When you are cramped for time and trying to save money, it seems like a good option to take advantage of Domino's $6 pizzas.  But you actually can make pizzas just as cheap and fast at home.  (And pizza isn't even an option - so who cares?)

When you are trying to eat right, you have to buy vegetables (not cheap) and fruit (not cheap) and meats to cook (definitely not cheap).  You get that huge $125 or $200 grocery bill.  And, face it, there is no amount of coupon clipping and being sneaky with Publix that can help that bill.  They don't have coupons for fresh food.  Our entire society pushes us towards to lousy eating habits.  The coupons direct us to more and more processed and prepared food.  So we end up consuming boatloads of chemicals, preservatives, sugar, and sodium.  The sodium on prepared stuff is killer.  I was looking at sodium content on some things the other day and was stunned.  There was a hot dog at Sam's I found that had 1000 mg of sodium in each frank!  You have to drop the big money on fresh meat.  $11 for a turkey breast roast.  $25 for a turkey. $14 for a beef roast.  $16 for a big pack of chicken breast tenderloins.  It adds up.  Yes, the truth is that those meals last for days and that they actually cost less when divided across a whole family.  But it is tough to swallow those huge payments when you are struggling to pay bills - like most of us probably are.

There have been several times lately when I have longed for the ease of my old ways.  It would be so easy to swing through a drive through on the way home from dropping off or picking up Heather.  Last night I passed several places that I could have zipped into and gotten a quick dinner on the way home.  Shoot, Burger King has $1 double cheeseburgers.  My whole meal would have been just a couple bucks.  Of course, if had just eaten at the event it would have been even cheaper and easier.  But they had meatball subs and pork sandwiches and hot dogs and chips and cheese dip.  So I couldn't risk it.

It gets to be very frustrating when you have to battle time and finances.  When I think back to where I began my downward slide - in college and just out of college - time and money always was the issue.  Once you realize the meal plan is a waste of money and ditch it, you are then dependent on a microwave to cook everything.  And, of course you are broke in college.  So even when you don't eat out, the menu is a bunch of prepared stuff.  But, it is just easier to call for delivery or to run across the street to McDonald's or BK or Miami Subs.  When you are driving all over for events, just race through a Taco Bell and bring it with you into your office.  Or eat it in the car.  Those habits have become just as ingrained as eating the junk to begin with.  I love the quickness of most food options I have relied on.  I have become accustomed to being able to whip dinner together in 30 minutes - or better yet, 15 minutes. So this is requiring me to change my entire schedule.  And it means I have to have bigger chunks of money at a time, instead of letting it trickle away in spurts.

In the long run, of course, this is better.  The food is better for us with fewer damaging ingredients.  I become more disciplined with my time.  We actually hold onto more money in the long run - it can go farther.  And I further my general goal of developing a healthy relationship with food.  But it sure is tough right now to remember that.  Sounds like another sneaky way to teach me patience and self control, if you ask me.  (sigh)  Is there a way to speed up THAT process?

Greek to Me

I just wanted to announce a small change to my blog settings.  I will no longer be allowing anonymous comments.  I've never liked anonymous comments.  But I left them.  Recently, though, I've been getting a bunch of spam comments telling me about High Yield investments and where to find raunchy pics.  So, now you have to be a registered user.  Sorry if that is annoying, but I have to do something.

Now to the real post.  Today, Oscar nominations came out.  Which naturally got me thinking about Greek yogurt.  Have you tried this stuff?  I'm serious.  As part of my new approach to food and health, I have been on a very regimented diet.  For over two weeks now, I have not had soda, sugar, cheese, bread, starches.  For breakfast I have plain lowfat yogurt with fruit.  Lunch is meat (turkey, chicken, beef) with fruit and spinach - usually some sort of salad concoction.  Dinner is meat with spinach or other veggie.  Snacks are fruit and nuts.  I've lost twenty pounds in two weeks.  And, more importantly, I'm actually breaking my dependence on certain foods.

Anywho, as I have been getting my yogurt, I have noticed this section in Publix of Greek Yogurt.  I really didn't know what the difference was with Greek yogurt.  And not being the type that likes to buy things that get thrown out due to being disgusting, I just was content to keep looking at it in curiosity.  Well, this past weekend when I was at my mom's house, she had three containers of Oikos Greet Yogurt (made by Stonyfield Farms).  I had my opportunity!  I tasted the yogurt.  And, man, what a surprise.

It was a lot thicker and a little more tart than my usual plain yogurt.  Now, plain yogurt as a rule is kind of weird.  There isn't any sugar in it, so it isn't that sweet desserty taste you may be used to.  But it was almost like a sour cream.  In fact, it was a LOT like sour cream.  But the thing that is crazy about it is that it is fat free.  Huh?  It has the thickness and taste similar to a really good sour cream, except with a little more tang like a yogurt would have.  How is this possible.  Looking at the nutritional info on the side yielded more interesting discoveries.  One cup of the stuff has 130 calories - only 20 more than normal lowfat plain yogurt.  It has 0 grams of fat, 9 grams of carbs, and 23 grams of protein.  That's right.  23 GRAMS per cup.  That is the same as FOUR EGGS.  

It is kind of baffling.  I guess that Greek yogurt has an extra straining process that removes the whey, which then leaves the yogurt denser and creamier.  I think it must be some kind of Greek magic - maybe something sent down from Olympus or that they got from the Oracle.  "You must go to the western edge of the great disc, battle monsters of enormous size, lose what you want most, and strain your yogurt twice."  

So, I had a thought while I was making lunch.  I was sauteeing some chicken tenderloins with Italian seasoning in some olive oil, along with some spinach and tomatoes.  Basically, I was bringing it - making my usual awesome chicken.  I thought, man, that yogurt would make a good dipping sauce.  So I took some of it and mixed it with garlic powder and some of that bread dipping seasoning (you know the stuff, has four flavors in it that you dump in oil).  I was pretty generous with the garlic and seasoning.  Mixed it all up and good gravy, that was awesome.  I dipped my chicken in it - so did Heather and my sister.  My mom said, "That tastes like something you'd buy at a restaurant."  I was snickering to myself. It was so easy and actually good for you.  (I finished the sauce up that night dipping my london broil in it - just as good, I'll have you know.)  

So I got a flash of brilliance.  This yogurt could easily sub in for sour cream.  What an awesome veggie dip - to mix in the ranch seasoning packet in with the yogurt instead.  You could make up a tzatziki sauce (that stuff you put on gyros) by adding cucumbers and garlic.  You could add lemon juice and dill.  What an awesome option.  At the same time, I had discovered Boathouse Farms' dressings.  They use yogurt to make ranch dressing and other creamy dressings.  They have fewer calories, fat, and carbs than even Lite dressings.  And they taste like regular dressings.  So, there you have it.  Yogurt, especially Greek yogurt.  Give it a try.  

This post was not a paid advertisement by the Greek Yogurt producers of America.  However, if the GYA wants to pay me to advertise, I am not above shilling myself.  For the right price, I'll make my van look like a big tub of yogurt.  Shoot, I would dress up like a gyro if they wanted me to.  All in the effort for full disclosure.

My Fault

First the good news.  I survived the traveling this weekend.  I did well - or as well as I could being in the car a lot.  Long drives just don't lend themselves to healthy behaviors.  And no matter if you order grilled chicken salads at fast food places or not, the sodium content alone is going to wreck havoc with your eating efforts.  (Adding in beef jerky certainly doesn't help in the salt category.)  That all being said, I had my weigh in this morning and had lost 3+ pounds.  I was down to 336.2.  (When did we have to start including tenths of pounds?)  So, I've lost almost twenty pounds in two weeks.  I was a little discouraged.  That first mammoth weight drop is always nice - and something I would love to recreate each week.  But that isn't realistic.  I'm averaging about 1/2 pound a day.  That's fine.  At that rate, I would be 150 pounds by the end of the year.  And I would not exist the next year.  HA HA.  Just kidding. I know that at some point I will switch to maintenance instead of weight loss.  But I'll deal with that later.

One thing that I wanted to address in this post came to mind courtesy of my good buddy Jeff Williams at First Baptist Church of Temple Terrace.  We took my mom to church yesterday and we were able to be there for a tremendous time of worship.  This is the church where I started my life in ministry.  Heather and I got married there.  It holds a lot of memories (most of them good).  Jeff and I served together while I was there.  So it is always nice to go back and hear him preach.  And it is nice to see old friends again - and meet new ones, like their amazing new worship pastor Eric.

Anyway, Jeff was preaching on James 1.  Specifically, he was preaching on verses 13-15.  Here they are, so you don't have to go find your Bible.

Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death

Jeff went on to mention that a lot of times we like to point fingers at all the things that have contributed to getting us into our messes.  We blame people all over the place.  But we don't want to blame ourselves.  But it says very clearly in the Bible, and in that part I put in italics, that it is our own desires that are the worse things.  Jeff said that influences do play a part - and in some cases a big part.  But when it all comes down to it, we have to take responsibility for our own actions.

This whole process of examining my food issues is important because it helps me to see WHY I am doing things instead of just fighting against invisible enemies.  Why is it that certain foods and experiences are so important?  That will help me to fight better than saying that I just can't have something.  And in that exploration, I uncover some influences.  But, while I do point the finger, I must remember that there are four fingers pointing back at me.  [Actually, there are only three fingers pointing back at me.  My thumb doesn't point back at me when I am pointing at someone.  It points at that person.  It always had.  I hated having someone say that four fingers thing.  What kind of weirdo twists their thumb backwards to point at themselves?  It just isn't natural.]

My father did have a large influence on my food issues.  That is undeniable.  But he didn't force me to eat things.  He didn't hold me down on the ground and force feed me HoHos.  He didn't make me sit at the table and not get up until I ate my mozzarella sticks.  Those were my choices.  I may not have been able to control all my meal content growing up, but I determined my snacks and desserts - especially in my teen years.  And, the most important and damning point, my true food problem explosion happened once I was on my own in college.  If I had truly wanted to do things right, that would have been the perfect time.  I didn't have to worry about influence there.  But my own desires lured me and enticed me into a Pizza Hut Bigfoot pizza.

The thing about my dad is that he had four major addictions, in addition to other issues like temper.  He was addicted to alcohol, nicotine, food, and gambling.  I chose to NOT follow in his footsteps in three of those issues.  How did I do it?  I never allowed myself to even begin to entertain thoughts in those areas. I have never even had a drink of alcohol - even avoiding cough medicines and desserts with too much alcohol content.  I have not ever tried a cigarette, cigaweed, cigar, dip, chaw, chew, snuff, or any other drug or varient of tobacco.  And I don't play the lottery, didn't play a penny on our cruise or my trip to Vegas.  With alcohol, I know that I drink a lot of whatever liquid I drink.  And I know that it is dangerous to even introduce something like that into a body like mine.  So I didn't even try.

But with food, I chose to follow my own desires.  And I have continued to do that on a regular basis.  While I strongly believe there is truth in the fact that there are influences that make it easier to go down a certain path, I also believe that it is up to each of us to make choices about our behavior.  Even if I am able to figure out exactly why each food is a trigger, and why certain holidays are triggers, and who pushed me to the brink of this hole - if I don't come to the place where I can see my own role in all of this, I'll never change.  I will just sit there and have lots of people and things to blame.  I am the one who has to stop. I'm the only one who can make myself stop.  I had people who helped me get here, and I have people who are going to help me get out.  But that all circles around me and my choices.  I have to humble myself, turn to God, beg for help, and make the right choices.