Juice Fast - Day Five

I'm bored.

I have hit the point where this is boring.  For those of you who have not done a lot of fasting, this is common, I suppose.  At least it has been for me.  The first few days have a lot of excitement - even if that is not positive excitement.  There are pains and tears and wanting to quit and weird things happening to your body.  Like outbreaks of hives, for example.  Or pooping yourself when you think you are just passing gas since your digestive system is so weird - uh, not that it has ever happened to me.  I just have heard . . . that can . . . happen to some people.  Moving on.  At the end of the fast, there is the overwhelming and painful crush of hunger, which is the signal to stop.  In between, you kind of hit that point where your body is getting used to what is going on.  It may not like it, but it isn't shocked any more.  That can go on for a while.  There is supposedly a point where euphoria kicks in and you start to feel superhuman.  That is what the online juice fast guides say.  Personally, I don't think I ever have had that period.

My stomach has started grumbling a LOT today.  That is weird, because it usually happens in days one and two.  Those days I had a gnawing hunger, but not a lot of grumbling.  Today, the old gut has been very vocal about its displeasure with the lack of grub.  I keep making myself drink the juice and water, trying to stave off the grumbling and complaining.  I probably need to switch up my juice choices soon.  Purple is getting boring quickly.  The biggest challenge with juice fast is coming up with juices when you don't own a juicer.  We have looked at juicers, but they are so stinking expensive.  I can't justify that.  There are four main classes of juicers, as I have determined them.

1. CITRUS JUICERS:  These are good for juicing citrus fruits.  Oranges, lemons, grapefruit, key limes.  On a juice diet, you are not supposed to do citrus fruits.  They are almost pure sugar.  And grapefruit can seriously mess you up on a juice fast - like it messes with medication and everything.  So this class is useless.
2. CHEAPO JUICERS:  These are the "too good to be true" juicers.  They cost around $50-100 and claim to do all kinds of stuff.  Hamilton Beach and Juice Tiger, for example.  But if you read the reviews, what they do best is break.  Sure, they work super for a couple of weeks.  But then they get tired of working hard on carrots and they start to malfunction.  Unfortunately, this is the class that most people are stuck going with because that's all they can afford.
3. UPSCALE JUICERS:  These are in the $200 range.  They are the kicked up version of the Cheapo class.  There are two kinds of juicers - centrifugal (uses spinning blades) and masticulating (grinding gears)  These are the best of the centrifugal class.  Breville is a big name in this.  They are fancier, have more pulp storage.  But they still all have the same problems, cheap or upscale.  They waste a lot of product and wear down easily.
4. PROFESSIONAL JUICERS:  If you go to a juice place, they have one of these.  They are the best and give you the freedom to juice anything.  It uses gears to grind the product, which wastes less and gives more nutrition.  They also take a lot longer.  And they cost a ton.  Green Star is a big name in this class.  They run from $450 to $860 on Amazon.  So, that ain't happening.

I have none of these juicers, so I must resort to buying juice.  Since we don't have an awesome organic store like Trader Joe's here (yeah, that's aimed at the South Carolina Crissingers), I don't have a lot of choices unless I want to pay an arm and a leg.  And, in this process, those are two body parts I don't want to part with.  They won't take a pound of flesh, which I have plenty of.  So this weekend I need to find a way to mix up the juice.

But, today, I am bored.  It is amazing how much time food takes up in your day - distracting you from the boring stuff.  Preparing food, eating food, cleaning up.  I still do all that for everyone else, but when it is just me and Gabe - the process doesn't take long.  How long does it take to toast a waffle or microwave a hot dog?  My food prep is insanely short.  "Get glass.  Put in ice.  Get juice.  Pour juice in cup.  Sigh loudly.  Drink."  Reading that instruction list takes longer than doing it.  I want something exciting to happen.  I'm not sure what I am wanting.

I guess some huge revelation that rocks me to my core.  Is that too much to ask?  This is suspiciously looking like another opportunity for me to learn patience, discipline, and self control.  I hate those.  Immediate gratification is so much easier.  I get onto my kids about their desire for that.  But I'm not a whole lot different.  I think that is actually at the heart of a lot of food issues.  We are down, so we eat.  We are happy, so we eat.  It gives us the immediate release of endorphins that we desire without having to wait and work through a normal process of emotions.  I want to feel better, I eat a cookie, I feel better.  Of course, that immediately is changed when I realize that cookie was way too small and now it is probably lonely, all alone in my stomach with just the Pepsi and pizza to keep it company.  So I invite a few of its friends to join him.  Soon, I'm in a sugared out bliss, the cookie tray is empty, the cookies - which weren't really lonely since they are just food - are busy adding to my ample fat stores, and I am shopping for a bigger shirt because my old ones "shrunk in the blasted dryer . . . AGAIN."

So maybe part of this process is learning to wait and be patient - to be content with what I have and control my desires.  I can't make this go any faster.  Sure, I can quit now.  But it isn't the right time.  I can't make my body break its addiction any faster.  I can't force God to give me revelation any faster.  I can't do much of anything except keep on drinking the juice, praying, reading God's Word, and doing my job.  And, of course, being careful when I pass gas.

SIDE NOTE:  In this process, two people are going to be essential to my success.  The first is Heather.  She is there to encourage me and extend me compassion on a daily basis.  Her medical training is also very useful.  I am very blessed to have such a wonderful wife to be there and invest so much in my well being.  The other person is Charles Wise.  We founded Defender Ministries five years ago this March.  I consider Charles one of the greatest blessings in my life.  I have gained so much from his friendship.  He is a licensed mental health counselor with a wealth of knowledge - including on dietary issues.  His advice is always greatly appreciated.  So when both Heather and Charles tell me to do something, I don't question it.  I just do it.  For example, this blog is up and running - which both of them suggested within two hours of each other.  Well, they also both told me to look at specific foods and try to see what the reason is for their hold on me.  So that is something else that will be incorporated in these updates.