Well, things are still just rolling along. I haven't lost any more weight. I haven't gained any more weight. And, since I haven't had much success exercising yet, that is exactly where I will stay for a while. I have continually tweaked things and tested what would happen if I added foods - lightened up the strictness. On Thursdays, I have been having lunch with a friend of mine at Buffalo Wild Wings. The special that day is boneless wings for 60 cents each. I can get ten of those for six bucks, but for me to get their naked unbreaded tenders it is ten dollars. I have a hard time paying that, so I have been experimenting with getting the pseudo wings, even though they are breaded. I'm not very happy doing that, so I will not keep it up - I'm afraid it sets a dangerous precedent. Once I allow breaded chicken back in, where is the line? I need a line.
One thing that I allowed in months ago was frozen yogurt. I was eating yogurt mixed with peanut butter at first. Then I realized that I could eat frozen yogurt for the same calorie hit. So it has been a big part of my diet. It has worked well for me. I don't feel deprived of all "bad for you" foods. It also has been a good ending for my day. I find I don't wander and snack at night if I have frozen yogurt. Also, it seems to help my stomach. That was one reason I started eating ice cream at night years ago was that it helped minimize acid reflux. The frozen yogurt has had the same result.
The problem comes from that I have noticed my helpings of frozen yogurt had grown over the past few months. At first, I had a small dessert bowl of fro yo. Then it moved up to half a cereal bowl. Now it is more than that. I usually can go through a half gallon in three or four days - depending on the flavor. (Edy's cappuccino goes faster.) I had been pretty restrained for a while. But then there were some days when I had a smaller dinner and justified the larger dessert. That soon became the norm.
What really bothered me was that the other day I thought about not eating it and started to feel those old feelings of anger at the thought of being deprived of something I liked. That was when I knew I was in trouble. It was like when I had been doing so well with keeping my movie obsession under control under The Dark Knight came out. To fix that, I intentionally didn't see the movie in the theater and didn't watch the DVD until about six months after the movie came out. It was a way to self-correct the problem. I realized then and there that I had to do something or the frozen yogurt was going to morph into a new area where I lacked control. I am NOT going to let any food get the best of me again. I've had to do this before when I felt certain foods were becoming too important. I went about a month without BBQ at the first of the year, largely reducing my lunches and dinners to variations of chili and beans/rice.
So I stopped having frozen yogurt on Monday. The first night, I wanted to go back on the decision. My only real reason was that I didn't like giving it up - which really showed me I was on the right track. It was hard that first night. I ended up making my lemon/blueberry yogurt and added some dried blueberries and crushed up blueberry rice cakes. It was very good. Sure, it ended up being about the same calories as the frozen yogurt. But it did the trick. Call it hair splitting, but there is a clear difference between regular yogurt and frozen yogurt. Just go try them both and you'll see. Last night was a lot easier. I don't have any fro yo in the house, so there hasn't been temptation to eat it. I snacked on nuts and dried fruit. I still need to find a good alternative, but for the interim I can handle it.
I'm not going to ban frozen yogurt forever. It is a temporary restriction - like my Dark Knight approach. I saw that movie and have watched it several times since then. But it helped me to get things under control. I am back to the place where I can miss a movie I really want to see in the theater and not get upset. (Netflix helps. Take Unstoppable. I really wanted to see it when it was out, but never made it. So I got it on Netflix the other day. I wish I had seen it in the theater because it is a BIG movie. But I saw it eventually - without paying crazy ticket prices.) After this week, I'll see how I'm doing. If I feel I have gotten things under control I will probably get some frozen yogurt. But I am limiting myself to the small dessert bowls again. If I still feel week, it will go back on the no-no list until I get things straight.
I'll see how all of this goes. I wouldn't be surprised if I actually lose a few pounds. Dropping those extra 400 calories a day will probably help me get down to 250 (or below). This is definitely NOT a weight loss move. It is to re-establish control for myself. It really is a neverending battle.
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