WEEK SIXTEEN: New Frontier

It has been sixteen weeks since I started my life overhaul.  That is 112 days.  And I'm honestly getting to the point that I don't remember what it was like before.  I know that sounds weird, but as anyone who has ever had a kid knows, that is entirely possible.  I remember when our kids were born, there is that transition periods where you are trying to get used to having a new person in your family.  Things feel off.  But then, without warning, you hit a point where you can't imagine your life without that little person.  Your whole person has so completely absorbed the notion of the newcomer that you can't even stand the thought of being without them.

That is the closest example I can come up with for explaining how this new life feels.  I mean, for almost 36 years, I did whatever I wanted when it came to food and taking care of myself.  I ate horribly.  I only ate what I liked and wanted.  I never exercised unless it was something fun like intramural sports.  And I felt that I was perfectly justified in that approach.  After living that way for that long, I assumed that it would take a very long time to change that mindset.

Yet, here I am sixteen weeks in, and I feel like a different person.  My entire approach has changed.  And I have a hard time even thinking about the old way - it seems so foreign.  This isn't just some sanitized version of things - to try to impress anyone.  I have been transparent enough on this blog that it should be fairly obvious that I am being honest.  I really cannot picture myself doing those other things.

The other day is a good indication.  On Friday, there was a get together for some of the younger married couples at our church.  It was a dessert and game night.  We had to get the kids through dinner fast, so I went to Domino's and got them pizza.  We then had to stop to get gas.  The place I stopped was a Shell that also houses a McDonald's.  And it is next door to a Krispy Kreme - which was pumping out donut aroma and flickering its hot sign.  And we were going to a dessert fellowship complete with cookies, ice cream cake, m&ms, and a marshmallow and cream cheese dip for apples.  Then I went to see Iron Man 2.  Basically, I was navigating a mine field.  Pizza, hot donuts, Mickey D's, ice cream, cookies, exotic sweet dips, candy, concession stand goodies.  But I didn't have pizza - I had bbq wings.  [Side Note: Domino's wings are good.  They were better than Zaxby's, Barnaby's, Hobbit's.  And they were a heck of a lot better than Pizza Hut.  I was very surprised.]  And I ignored the aromas wafting from KK and McD.  And I had about four apple slices.  And I had nothing at the movie.  (The night before at Iron Man 1, I brought my own trail mix and bought a water.)

The weird thing was not that I did all of that - it was that it just was second nature.  There was a twinge of desire when I smelled the donuts and burgers.  But that was it.  When I got in the car, I told Heather that I really could not come up with a scenario that would end up with me eating something I shouldn't.  It wasn't arrogance.  It was just the way things are.  Aside from a major life-shattering crisis (which, man I hope doesn't happen), I don't see something coming up that would trip my food efforts.  I have already in the last sixteen weeks done just about everything that has tripped me up before.  I have gone on trips.  I have been places without any healthy options.  I have been to fancy and special events where I haven't wanted to rock the boat.  I have been to other people's houses and wanted to be polite.  I have been alone in a hotel by myself on a trip.  I have been to the movie theater, watching the Super Bowl, celebrating a birthday.  I have had to get up early to go to a pre-breakfast meeting that would lend to a stop at McDonald's.  I have had no food in the house.

Just about every single situation that I have failed in before, I have successfully navigated.  And now, the thought of eating something wrong is just . . . wrong.  I am a pretty smart guy.  And I try to live a good life - do the right thing, please God, follow the Bible.  When it came to food, I never assigned a "right" or "wrong" to my actions.  But when I started this, I realized I had to do that.  To eat certain foods was just "wrong" because they had unhealthy control on me.  When I was able to absorb that belief, I was able to finally win.  It isn't worth it to do something wrong.  (Man, I wish I saw other things in my life in that black and white way.)

Now, I just go into my meal situation and come up with an option that works.  I have found places in a mall food court that work.  Sarku Japanese restaurant is great - cheap and lots of meat.   Too much salt, though.  Or if I don't want Sarku, I can go to Taco Time and get a taco salad with grilled veggies and extra meat and not eat the shell.  I can get rice bowls at Mexican places.  I get wings at pizza places.  I order bbq a lot if I am traveling.  I even have found an option at McDonald's, although I still hate eating there.  (Grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo - just eat the meat, lettuce and tomato.  Add an apple dippers and even yogurt parfait if I want to splurge.)

The only place that still befuddles me is Italian food.  We went to Olive Garden for Mother's Day lunch. I examined the menu online before we went.  There were maybe three or food dishes that I could even work with - but they all were expensive.  So I went the soup, salad, and breadsticks route.  Well, no breadsticks.  I had two bowls of salad with their low fat parmesan peppercorn dressing.  I had a bowl of pasta fagioli soup and picked out the pasta.  (About a 1/2 cup in my one bowl).  And I had a bowl of zuppa tuscana soup and picked out the big potato pieces.  They at least have that option.  But most Italian places are just not worth the effort for me.

Mostly, we eat at home.  I make all kinds of stuff.  And the leftovers make for awesome skillet meals for lunch the next day.  I actually like what I'm making.  And after four months, I don't really want to eat the other stuff any more.  Sure, there are times when my thoughts start to drift.  I had to turn off a Bobby Flay Throwdown on the Food Network the other day.  The green chile cheeseburgers battle was too much for me.  And I had to move the basket of Olive Garden deathsticks away from me.  And I still don't really like it when I am surrounding by kids eating ice cream and I am stuck watching and wiping their mouths.  But it seems like I am in a completely different place.

As far as the stats go, I am now at 291 pounds.  I have lost 64 pounds in 16 weeks.  My waist is down from a 50.  I wear 40 pants, but I have a feeling that I could actually wear 38s.  I've lost like 2 1/2 inches in my neck.  I had bought a new belt a couple months ago.  I think it was a 44 incher.  I started out on hole one - now I'm on hole six.  My dress belt is on hole three now.  It started in March on hole one and was tight.  I've had to basically get rid of all my 4XLT shirts and old pants.  They just looked ridiculous.  I still wear my old 3XLT shirts that I had put in the back of my closet, but they are also getting big.  I bought some shirts for my birthday and got 2XLTs - and they fit perfect even after washing.  At some point this summer, I am going to have to do some serious clothes updating.  [The other day I wore jeans to church and was worried people may have a problem with that.  Our new church is a little more conservative in what most people wear.  But I had gotten tired of wearing the same single pair of khakis every Sunday and the shirt I was wearing didn't look get with them.  No one cared.]  I do 35-45 minutes on the Wii Fit four days a week.  I'm still trying to get more walking and other exercise into the plan.

My food selections are pretty set in stone now.  I eat yogurt for breakfast - usually Chobani Greek no fat yogurt.  I have added rice back into my diet.  I didn't like being unable to have any starches - it felt too restrictive.  And once I added it, there really wasn't any adverse reaction in my weight loss.  So I have brown rice off and on.  I also use a blend of texmati rice, red rice, black rice - sometimes with red beans in it.  The only white rice I ever eat is at Sarku - and then just a little bit.  That is the only starch I eat (aside from corn).  Veggies and fruits are still big in my diet - and something I can eat whenever or however much I want.  Meat is a big component.  And then I have a banana with peanut butter for dessert.  I only drink water and a small glass of milk each day.  I also allow myself to have yogurt a lot - making dips out of them, eating them for snacks or desserts.  I haven't bumped up to traditional frozen yogurt yet, but I think I may soon as a special treat.  The numbers on it are amazing.  (100 calories per 1/2 cup as opposed to 250 in ice cream.)

All in all, things are going great.  Thanks to you all for your support and interest in my efforts.  And, if there is ever anything I can do to help anyone in their own efforts, please let me know.  I don't have all the answers, but sometimes you just need to know that someone understands what you're going through.  If I can end up helping someone else avoid the destruction I visited upon myself, that would be amazing.