WEEK THIRTY-SIX: What's Up Doc

First of all, let's dispense with the regular updates that I know everyone is craving for.  Today I weighed 265.  Friday it was 264, but this was Gabe's birthday weekend.  So, I had a few too many meatballs at the party.  That means I've lost 90 pounds (or 91).  I bought some new pants the other day - they were all 38" long pants.  But I have gotten into 36" shorts.  Trying to gauge actual waist size by using Old Navy is pretty stupid.  None of their pants are consistent.  Even different colors of the same pants run differently.

The food efforts continue to go very well.  This past month I endured two birthdays.  That means I had to ignore cake multiple times - three to be exact, since Gabe actually had two cakes.  And I had to reject birthday muffins once and birthday donuts twice.  Today, we actually have a half a cake in our house, along with bags of rolls, and bags of chips.  These are all left from Gabe's party yesterday.  I really don't even want to mess with those things.

My food does get boring at times.  Eating the same rotation of foods gets a big monotonous.  The biggest challenge, I think, has been the eating out one.  Heather's schedule this semester has been awful, to say the least.  Plus the kids started gymnastics back up.  This time, their classes are in the evening - which wrecks havoc with dinner.  The big problem is that fast food is just not an option.  It becomes very difficult to find a quick place on the run.  So we usually have to pick between a small set of choices.  (Boston Market wins frequently.)

I have been experimenting with pumpkin options - trying to find something that I can have this fall.  So far, we tried pumpkin oatmeal.  It was phenomenal.  But I don't want to have that too often, due to the insane carb total.  I also made a pumpkin chicken chili the other day.  It was super and even the kids devoured it.  Big problem, though, was that it was pretty bad warmed up.  I'd never had a chili that did not reheat well.  It's weird - the pumpkin butternut squash soup I made last Spring had the same problem.  It was horrible reheated.  I wonder if that is common with pumpkin soups.  I tried to make my own pumpkin yogurt - but it was horrific.  My guess was that it was a no go, until I found out one of the yogurt shops in town has that flavor and it rocks.  I guess it was just my version that was terrible.

The big event from this past month is that I went to the doctor last Friday for a physical.  I hate going to doctors.  Over the years, I have been treated by some of the biggest morons to bribe someone into getting a med school degree.  I had one guy who accused me of creating an illness for attention - when I was in middle school.  When my mom and I figured out that the problem was my inability to break down Aspartame (Nutrasweet), he refused to believe it was the real reason.  "There is no evidence that people have trouble with that.  But I'm glad you found something that helped you to make yourself feel better."  He was a gem.

When my rheumatoid arthritis was first flaring up, I went to a doctor in Jacksonville.  He didn't do any of the tests to determine if it was RA.  Instead, he told me it was my weight that was causing all of the pain.  I was confused how my weight made my hands hurt so bad - maybe lifting the fork was the issue.  The weight card was a common tool by doctors throughout my life.  In Orlando, one of my doctors was bigger than me - significantly bigger - and he used to lecture me every visit about my needing to slim down.  It was kind of hard to take him seriously.

After all of the ridicule I received for my weight, it got to be that I hated to go to the doctor.  I hated the usual routine.  They would see me come in, and then try to work the weight into the diagnosis.  "Well, it appears you have an egg allergy.  Maybe if you weren't so fat.  Avoid eggs."  Or it would be, "I am aware you fell down wet stairs and sprained your knee and ankle.  If you weren't so fat, it would be better.  Here are crutches.  I hope they don't buckle under your bulk."  It was an easy out for physicians. And I constantly felt judged.  So, I just started avoiding doctors unless I could not help it.

Last November I got the Andarian Death Flu - at least that is what it felt like.  That is something you have to see a doctor about.  I would go if I hurt myself badly, or contracted some horrendous respiratory issue.  Even when I was in obvious severe discomfort - like with the RA or Acid Reflux or back pain - my wife had to force me to go.  Yearly physicals?  You have to be crazy.  There was no way.

As I recently posted on the other blog, my RA is flaring up again.  So I need to begin some kind of treatment.  That means I have to see some kind of doctor.  I finally relented and made an appointment with one of the professors at the FSU Med School that Heather has become friends with.  One of my biggest fears had been going to a new doctor and having them lecture me on my weight - after I had come so far.  That was why I picked someone who knew what I had done.  It was a strange feeling, to be in a doctor's office knowing that I actually was doing something right about my weight.  Usually I'm so ashamed and embarrassed that I want to hide under the table.

The nurse took my vitals.  Their stupid scale was higher than ours.  [Why is it that all doctor's scales are wrong?  Shouldn't they be the ones that are always right?  Isn't there some way to make a scale that is always right - like the atomic clock?]  While she was taking my records, I asked what I had weighed last year when I was there.  "Um, it says here 350."  She went back to typing for a second, and then her head popped up and she looked at the computer again.  I knew that she had done the math in her head.  "Oh my gosh.  That's amazing."  Then she gave me five.  I was probably stupid for being so happy about that.  But a medical professional had actually been impressed with the weight loss.  She said that what I had done was incredible.  Later she asked what I had been doing, and she was very complimentary of my process.  According to their records, I had lost 79 pounds.  That was impressive enough, even thought it was wrong.  The last time I weighed there I was being devoured by alien flu germs and dropping weight - and I exploded over the holidays into new realms of fatness.

When the doctor came in, we talked about the medical history and stuff.  Then she asked about the weight loss - to get the numbers.  I told her about the stupid scale at the office.  She said they go by our scales at home.  We've been tracking the whole process, so we know exactly what has been happening.  Multiple times she encouraged me.  When the issue of exercise came up, it wasn't with a "you haven't done enough, here's what you need to do" attitude.  It was merely as a suggestion for how to strengthen my spinal column to fight the RA.  It felt good to actually be in a place where my efforts were praised by a doctor.  It had been a long time since I felt good at an appointment.

So much of this is mental - I've made that clear over the last eight months.  We convince ourselves that we are fat.  This is reinforced by other people, by the mirror, by media and entertainment sources, by doctors.  So we get into this spiral we can't get out of.  It feels hopeless.  And, unfortunately, many doctors feed this instead of offering hope.  They offer judgement and disdain.  They know that we are hurting our bodies.  They know the facts about how bad obesity is for a person.  But they want us to know that too - and they try to scare us into changing.  They don't take into account the fact that every hour of every day, we already are beating ourselves up and scaring ourselves.  The only way we can function is to tune out those inner hateful voices and just ignore the problem.  So we act like we don't care.  We joke about it.  Then a doctor comes along and thinks we are just another lazy stupid fat turd that is killing ourself.  They think we don't care - not realizing that we care so much that we can't function.  And it just becomes another reinforcement of the belief that we are useless because we are fat.

I'm not sure what the option is.  Part of me believes that until some of these older, less caring doctors leave the business things won't change.  I am glad for schools like FSU that emphasize training their students in really CARING for people.  And I am not blaming doctors - they are trying to give someone as much information as they can in a short period of time.  Taking care of my body is my responsibility - no one else's.  I just know how amazing it was to have an encouraging appointment - like teammates cheering me on.  It made me more resolved.  Mentally, it was a boost.  And in this mental battle, that is the best kind of help someone can offer.

Retreat and Advance

RETREAT
This past weekend, I was leading the high school retreat for International Community School - the school I worked at before we moved from Orlando.  It was an honor to be asked to serve in the role of camp speaker.  We've done tons of Defender events over the years.  But this was the first time I had been a camp pastor.  There was a lot of stress involved in preparing for it - mostly putting too much pressure on myself to make things perfect.  It turned out to be an amazing weekend.  I got to see my old students and spend time catching up with them.  And I also had plenty of time to interact with my friends there - both fellow teachers and parents.  Plus, as an added benefit, I actually got some quiet time (as documented on my other blog).

Honestly, the thing I stressed about the most once into the event was the food.  When I travel, I have learned how to make things work.  I bring nuts and water for in the car.  I time my trips so that I can eat meals at places that will work.  And I have a list of "go to" entrees when we do stop.  This time, though, I was at the mercy of other people.  I couldn't run to the store or drive down to the local bbq place to get what I needed.  We were at a retreat center - and at the mercy of the camp cafeteria.  That is a scary prospect even when you have NO dietary restrictions.  I've been at retreat centers all over the place and experienced some truly awful food.  So, I braced for the worst.

Before we even left the school, the first obstacle was encountered - lunch there was pizza.  Gooooo.  I ended up stopping with my carful of students at Chick Fil A on my way out of town to grab two grilled chicken fillets and a yogurt.  [Side Note: While I appreciate the fact that CFA offers this option, it is ridiculous that it costs NINE BUCKS for that meal.  That's right.  NINE!  For two grilled chicken patties and a yogurt with a strawberry in it.  This is why America is fat.  It is cheaper to be.]  The next three meals, though, would all be on the retreat grounds.

First came dinner.  I had been worrying for hours about this.  I asked what was for dinner and got, "Spaghetti and meatballs.  Or you can have alfredo sauce."  Dang.  I had figured I would be living on the salad bar all weekend.  When we got to the buffet, though, I was pleased to see that all the menu items were in separate chafing dishes.  So I was able to get a plate of just meatballs with sauce and broccoli.  Then I fixed a salad.  They even had raisins, dried cranberries, and sunflower seeds on the salad bar!

I didn't have my usual frozen yogurt dessert, so I just had to eat some nuts instead.  The kids all made s'mores at the campfire.  I, naturally, had to decline.  For breakfast, I again was stressing.  This is my most regimented meal.  I just have a container of Greek yogurt and that's it.  The buffet was loaded with sausage and biscuits.  But, over on the salad bar, there was a huge container of vanilla yogurt.  There also was granola, strawberries, and pineapple.  So I was able to make a good breakfast.  Lunch was the last hurdle.  They went with an old standby: tacos.  DOH!  But, again, they had everything split up.  I was able to bypass the tortillas and lay down a bed of romaine lettuce.  Then I scooped taco meat, refried beans, and salsa on top.  Instant taco salad.

I was really pleased with the whole food experience.  The food was really good, too.  And it seemed like the camp was very sensitive to the needs of its attenders.  I must throw out some props to Warren Willis Camp outside of Leesburg.  It is a really beautiful facility and it is very well run.  And they actually make an effort to provide good meal options - something that most camps neglect in favor of saving money.

ADVANCE
While at the camp, I had a lot of comments about my weight.  Some of these people haven't seen me since we moved.  They would ask what I had done, and then seem quite surprised that I had lost so much just by changing my diet.  To date, that really is all I've done.  There was maybe a month where I used the Wii Fit each night.  But for most of the last eight months, this has all been diet related.  I guess I had not realized how strange that was.

I have actually been pretty stubborn about keeping it all diet related.  I don't know why, but I wanted to get to 100 pounds lost without exercise.  There isn't a good reason.  But I was aiming for that.  Really, I figured I would ride the diet option as far as I could, until it bottomed out and I plateaued.  It looked like that would be around 255 - which would be the 100 pound mark.  However, this past month it is pretty apparent that I am not making much progress.  So far, I have only lost three pounds in the last three weeks.  I bounce around a lot at 267 or 268.  I'm not going to get much further without some sort of exercise - and I am NOT done yet.

I'm one of those people that goes as far as I can on one track before switching.  When I am running low on gas on a trip, I stupidly keep driving.  "I can make it to the next exit."  I'll pas gas stations if they are on the left side of the road or if they don't have a nice enough appearance or if I think I can save a few pennies later.  It really is a stupid habit.  That is the same way I have been approaching the diet.  I keep on driving down the diet change road and don't want to switch to the exercise one.

I hate exercising.  I hate getting hot and sweaty.  I hate having to come up with time to do it.  The thought of having a nicer body is nice.  But I sure don't want to do anything to get there.  I really don't even know where to begin.  I have absolutely no understanding of weight machines or the right process to muscle building.  And, frankly, I don't want to learn.  But, for me to see this through to the end, I am going to have to start exercising and working out.

I also need to do that for my body's sake.  My back problems are not going to be fixed without strengthening the muscles.  My rheumatoid arthritis is going to rob me of mobility and strength if I don't fight.  So, the time has come to move forward.  I must start exercising and working out.  I will start small.  Walking.  Using the Wii Fit again.  I hope that will kick start the weight loss again.  It's time to switch roads.

Awww Nuts

One of the most interesting side effects of this whole food thing has been how my tastes have changed.  I have been trying to document that a little bit in some of these posts.  I am amazed how there are food that I used to avoid that I eat now.  And then there are tons of foods I adored that I completely avoid - some due to the addiction stuff, some for other reasons.  One of the strangest examples has been nuts.  Literally - nuts.

I used to think that nuts were just about useless.  Sure, peanuts were useful once in a while - for peanut butter, or to cram into a Snickers.  But in general nuts were just something to ruin a good brownie or cookie.  One of the most disappointing things was when someone gave me a can of chocolate chip cookies or brownies.  Only when I went to bite into one, it was littered with walnuts or some other crunchy teeth cracker.  There were so many potentially great desserts that got ruined by a chef with a nut fetish.  I remember that Ben & Jerry's had this problem frequently.  Their Chunky Monkey ice cream had so much potential.  It was banana ice cream with fudge swirls and chocolate chunks - and freaking walnuts.  Then they actually came out with a flavor called Totally Nuts and another called Rainforest Crunch.  Since I was a pathetic loser and was trying to eat all of their flavors, I tried both of them.  Crammed with nuts.  Why would you ruin a good ice cream like that?

There was a brief flirtation with almonds when I was younger.  Blue Diamond put out these smaller cans of different almond flavors - smokehouse, bbq, stuff like that.  And I got those for a while.  But eventually I got burned out on them.  Later on I discovered macadamia nuts and was quite fond of those.  From time to time I would get a jar of them.  But they were far from something I really wanted too often - something my mother found out when she had the nerve to get me chocolate covered ones instead of cordial cherries one year for Christmas.  In short, nuts were useless to me.

• I'd eat them in a Snickers - but I far preferred Milky Way.
• I never got them on or in ice cream, in cookies, or in brownies.  If I got one of those things with nuts, I would pick them out.  
• The only way I would have chocolate with nuts in it was if all the good flavors were gone.  Like when a bag of Hershey's minis was out of Special Dark and Krackel and all that was left was Mr. Goodbar.
• I ate peanut butter - but not the crunchy stuff.
• I would eat pecan pie if there was nothing else to pick.
• Plain nuts were for airplanes and that's it.

Fast forward to today.  Through necessity, I started eating nuts as a snack or a topping for salads and/or dessert.  At first it was peanuts, since they were the least traumatizing.  But once I started having weird issues with peanuts, I started to switch to almonds and cashews.  Now, I go to Sam's and get a big container of Planter's Cashews and go through it in about three weeks.  This last time, I also got a container of deluxe mixed nuts.  It came with cashews, almonds, brazil nuts, filberts, and (gasp) pecans.  The mix is awesome.  At first, it was something I had to do - I really didn't have a lot of options.  But now, I really do like them. 

I have no idea what caused the taste change.  I suspect necessity helped.  But I really enjoy them.  Pecans were always my second least favorite nut - right before walnuts.  (Man, I hate walnuts.)  Now, though, pecans are one of my favorites in the mix.  They have a totally different texture than they other harder nuts.  They are less dense.  Cashews have rapidly become my favorite - even though I hated those most of my life.  And it isn't like I'm relying on macadamia nuts or flavored nuts.  They are just roasted and with sea salt.  (I ate the plain kind at the beginning when I was avoiding a lot of salt - but now I stick with the salted ones.  They are lots cheaper.)  

It certainly has been interesting.  And it has actually pushed me to explore some of the other foods on my hit list.  I detested sweet potatoes.  Now, I rarely eat potatoes.  But when I do, it usually is some kind of sweet potato concoction.  I have ridiculed avocados for years.  But now I realize I was just eating them wrong.  They are much better hot.  (Although Heather would disagree.)  Not only have I not been saying "no guacamole" on my food - I actually ordered it on purpose the other day!  It is a strange turn of events for me.  I've been so taken aback by this change, I even have considered trying . . . (wait for it) . . . mushrooms.  Then again, maybe that is too far.

Toss the Salad

Anyone who has spent much time with me over the years will not be surprised by this statement.  I don't have much use for salads.  I know they are the meal of choice for many dieters.  But, even when I was on relatively successful diets - like Weight Watchers - I never cared for salads.  This is something I was thinking about because I had salads the last two days at lunch.  Both times, I left the meal feeling unsatisfied and a little frustrated.  This resentment of salads has existed for a long time.  Originally it was based on the fact I wanted to eat more destructive foods.  (And I had a bizarre inability to process lettuce.  It gave me some of the worst indigestion I would get.  But that has gone away.)  Now, though, I still don't care for them.

1. They are not filling.  Unless you are getting one of those salads that have no nutritional value at all - the ones that have quesadillas and sweet and sour chicken on them - most salads you get are horribly unsatisfying.  You may get this huge bowl, full of lots of green stuff.  You may even walk away full, thanks to the quantity of food.  But it burns off so quickly it is almost a joke.
2. The toppings are a minefield.  The standard salad now comes loaded with cheese and croutons and other stuff.  But they skimp on the good stuff.  The one I got today, for example, had four cherry tomatoes and two slices of cucumber.  If I hadn't spent and extra three bucks for chicken, it would have been a disaster.  Ordinarily, people wouldn't notice the dearth of toppings due to the avalanche of cheese and croutons - but I don't get that on mine.
3. Their health claims are dubious.  By the time they get to taste great, they have been slathered with dressing and all other stuff.  Sure, you can make a great salad.  But what do you have to add to do that?  Oriental noodles, bacon, eggs, cheese, chili, sour cream, dressing.  How healthy is that, actually?  Take a chef salad - by the time you load it up with everything, it isn't much of a health food.
4. The meat on top is often wimpy.  Three bucks for a chicken patty.  It was probably four ounces of chicken.  That is pretty standard at most places.  If they put chicken or mahi mahi or shrimp on a salad, it is a dinky amount.   That is in stark contrast to the fact they'll cram a bag of lettuce into a bowl for these things.  There have places I got salads where I actually ate the top layer of toppings and lettuce and left half the rabbit food in the bowl.

Now, admittedly, there are some places that offer great salad.  Steak and Shake actually had one that was amazing.  It had chicken and fruit and all that.  I like dried fruit, apples, oranges, nuts on my salad.  So places that have something like a harvest salad with all that stuff is great.  But they often still rely on some of the cheaper and easier ingredients.  I tried Wendy's salad the other day with pecans, chicken, apples, cranberries (without the bleu cheese).  They had a ton of dried cranberries in the bowl.  They were everywhere.  But the bag of pecans they gave me was pitiful - as were the apples.  And the chicken breast was predictably tiny.  McAllister's Deli has some great salads - they are always well proportioned in their toppings, dressing, lettuce.  Plus you can do the whole "Pick Two" option and pair it with a big cup of soup or chili.  

I have found that salads are actually a terrible option for me.  I am always hungry afterwards, which then puts me in the place where I have to fight the urge to snack all afternoon.  Today was no exception.  I had a big peach, a banana, cashews, mixed nuts, and then another half banana.  The salad doesn't stick with me very long.  It almost seems like the lettuce just vaporizes and I'm left with whatever was on top - which in many cases is not much.  There are times where I get a salad because it is just easier than trying to find something on a menu.  That was the case at Wendy's.  But I would far prefer to eat soup than salad at a meal.  Thankfully a lot of places are offering a soup and salad option.  Chili's, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Jason's Deli.  The first three have all you can eat of both, so you can fill up on the heartier soups.  (Boston Market just bypassed the salad route all together and do all you can eat soup - for three bucks.  Heck yeah.)

I'm sure a ton of people love salad and have benefitted from eating them.  And I have found them useful over the years.  I just don't think they are actually that great.  

I Lost a Desk

We've been looking for a desk for Heather for a little while so she can study at home more instead of having to stay banished up at the school.  We have one desk, but it is already full of computers and such.  So we've looked around for a little while.  Finally, today, we found one at HH Gregg.  [This also answered the question of what the heck they sold at that store.]  It was one of those high quality Sauder put-it-together-yourself units.  Happy happy joy joy.

The sales dude went and got it out of the back and pushed it out on a dolly.  I helped him lift it into the van.  I said to him, "Man.  How am I going to get that upstairs?'  After we drove home, I went to the back of the van and opened the door.  The desk had been leaning against the door in its box, and when I opened the door it fell out onto the ground.  Smoooooth.  Anyway, I figured out how to pick the sucker up and started to walk upstairs.

It was stinking heavy.  I kind of got one of those momentum things going and rushed it up the stairs before setting it down in the living room.  I was kind of amazed I had gotten it up the stairs without dropping it, breaking it, or suffering a crippling injury.  Out of curiosity, I looked at the box to see how much it weighed.  "THIS BOX WEIGHS APPROXIMATELY 84 POUNDS."

Huh?!?  I looked at Heather and said, "I've lost a DESK!!!"  At my last weigh in, I had lost 86 pounds.  So I had lost more than that desk weighed.  It really hits home when you see something like that.  I barely could get this monster of a box up the stairs.  But back in January, I had been toting that much extra weight around every minute of every day.  Crazy, isn't it?

Pumpkin Project

I have a dilemma.  I love pumpkin.  Fall and winter are my favorite seasons.  Part of it is because it is cooler.  Part is all the holidays.  But a big part is the flavors of those holidays.  Pumpkins, cranberries, mint, apple.  These are awesome things.  And I look forward to the time of year when these things are readily available.  Starbucks' pumpkin spice frappachinos and mochas.  Pumpkin muffins from Bagelheads or Perkins or Bob Evans or wherever.  I also love pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin chocolate chip cookies from Target (try them, seriously).  And, possibly the greatest pumpkin inspired dish ever - the pumpkin cheesecake.  Cheesecake Factory's in incredible.  So is California Pizza Kitchen's.  I haven't had a bad one, honestly.  And, to make that even better, lots of ice cream manufacturers have come up with pumpkin pie cheesecake ice cream (Ben & Jerry's, Edy's, Publix).

So, can you see my problem?  There isn't a thing on that list that I can have any more.  I am crushed.  This is a worse blow than losing birthday cake or Super Bowl pizza or July 4 cheeseburgers.  I'm serious.  The very thought of having to go through the Fall without pumpkin flavored awesomeness is seriously bumming me out.  I don't want to look at this last stretch of the year with dread.  I want to finish the year strong, hit the 100 pound mark, and still have some pumpkin stuff.

So, this is where I am asking you - my faithful friends and readers - to help me out.  Can you help me come up with some pumpkin menu items that WILL work for me?  Feel free to put them in the comments section on this post.  I read all of those.  And then, as I experiment with them, I will post my results on this blog.  I'll even give you credit.

Here are some helpful guidelines.  First of all - here are some foods that I can't have involving pumpkin.  So don't post recipes for those.  It won't help.

• Pumpkin pie
• Pumpkin cookies
• Pumpkin bread
• Pumpkin cheesecake
• Pumpkin ravioli
• Pumpkin bagels
• Pumpkin mixed drinks
• Pumpkin ice cream

I have tried to do some rudimentary searches and have found some stuff that might be worth trying.  I found a pumpkin chili, stuffed pumpkin, pumpkin soup, and baked pumpkin.  Aarti - the next Food Network Star winner - also has a pumpkin oatmeal recipe that I want to try.  (Even though I'm avoiding oatmeal as a starch, I thought it could be a great breakfast on Thanksgiving.)  I want to try something like a pumpkin yogurt or yogurt dip or frozen yogurt.  If you have read this post, you should know my guidelines.  I appreciate your help.  This could be fun - and TASTY!

WEEK THIRTY-TWO: Charting

I have been charting my progress through all of this in four week increments. I'm not really sure why I chose that.  It is easier to track than a monthly update, since the 18th of each month falls on different days.  Since I weigh on Mondays and Fridays, keeping it consistent on Mondays helped me.  I have a white board in our "dining room."  On it, I have been updating my weights in four week intervals.  That helps me to keep track of the progress - and to see if I am actually moving forward or plateauing.

Anyway, today was the 32 week mark.  First, the basics for both of you loyal readers out there.  I am now 269 pounds (net loss of 86 pounds), can wear a 36" waist (down 14 inches), and find 2XLT shirts on the big side.  But I have also noticed that there is not a uniform difference between sizes in shirts - nor is there a uniform system of clothing measurements.  The difference between XLT and 2XLT is much bigger than between 2XLT and 3XLT or 3XLT and 4XLT.  It is kind of frustrating.  Also, the waist listing of pants is completely random.  I have Old Navy and Izod shorts and Lee jeans now.  When I tried on Old Navy 36 shorts, they fit just fine.  But, the other day I went to Kohls and tried on a 36 Chaps shorts and a 2XL Hawk shirt.  Neither of them even fit over my body.  So, there is not a set standard.  Again, frustrating.

It also hit me the other day that I'm about to be in some trouble.  The last few days, I have noticed that it is getting a little more mild in the mornings and evenings.  I was stunned last year by how cool it got in Tallahassee during the winter.  We even spent a good amount of time in the winter with lows below 20.  As I analyzed my closet yesterday, I noticed that I don't have cold weather clothes.  I have a few things here and there, but my stock took a severe hit as I lost weight.  It will be interesting to say the least.

I thought that today I would show you my chart as far as weight loss goes.  I find it interesting to track this. I know that some people have been frustrated that they haven't replicated my exact rate of weight loss.  But, I think by seeing this, you will see that it really hasn't been that dramatic after all.

• WEEK 0   -   January 18     -   355 pounds
• WEEK 4   -   February 15   -   327 pounds   -   28 lbs loss
• WEEK 8   -   March 15       -   314 pounds   -   13 lbs loss
• WEEK 12 -   April 12         -   300 pounds   -   14 lbs loss
• WEEK 16 -   May 10          -   291 pounds   -   9 lbs loss
• WEEK 20 -   June 7            -   286 pounds   -   5 lbs loss
• WEEK 24 -   July 5             -   278 pounds   -   8 lbs loss
• WEEK 28 -   August 2        -   274 pounds   -   4 lbs loss
• WEEK 32 -   August 30      -   269 pounds   -   5 lbs loss

Initially, I had these huge weight drops.  The first month was awesome, but that included a 16 pound drop in the first week, when I was on a juice fast.  Lately, things have trickled off to where it averages about a pound a week.  I would love to keep on the faster pace, but my body has adjusted.  I've lost a lot, so there isn't as big of a reservoir to pull from.  Plus, my body's calorie burning total is getting closer to my intake total.  

When I first started, if you remember, I was much more strict with my food choices.  Now, I am not so much worrying about the rate of weight loss, the strictness to break food addictions, or anything like that.  I have moved into the "I need to be able to maintain this forever, so what do I need to do?" phase.  As a result, I have added in brown rice (and other rice once in a while).  I also eat sweet potatoes on occasion and rarely I will have roasted potatoes.  And I eat frozen yogurt at night.  From the very beginning, I had two food lists.  There was the addiction list, which meant I would never eat those foods.  I still have never had those foods.  There was another list - the avoidance list.  Those are foods that I try not to eat due to the high carb content.  Rarely I may have something off of that list.  I still don't eat them regularly.

I know that I could probably accelerate my weight loss if I was to eliminate some of those things - like the frozen yogurt, the cashews, the rice.  But I realize that it is not feasible to live that way forever.  I am still losing weight.  And the fact that it is happening even with the less strict diet makes me happy.  I know at some point - probably not too far from now - where I am going to have to do something different to keep losing weight.  I will hit an equilibrium with caloric intake and burning.  My guess is that it will be when I hit 250 pounds.  For me to drop below that, I will HAVE to be more strict with amount of food I eat or start exercising or be satisfied to stay at that weight.  I'll probably start with exercise and go from there.

My goal is to be at 250-255 by Christmas.  That would put me at 100 pounds lost in a year.  Not too shabby, I think.  It is kind of amazing to me that I am only 14 pounds away from that total.  And I have three and a half months to get there.  Looking at the chart, I haven't lost less than four pounds in a month.  So I think I will make it.  That will be my Christmas present to myself - that and some warm clothes.