Nothing for Thanksgiving

I watched a lot of football this past Thanksgiving weekend.  A LOT of football.  One of the things about football is that while you may see the big highlights on ESPN, there are dozens of small plays that really determine the outcome of the game.  It may be a dive over tackle on a third and one that keeps the play going.  It could be a receiver stretching out for an extra yard.  Or a linebacker stopping a running back from going out of bounds - keeping the clock running.  The games are usually won and lost on those small plays.  The big ones may get the attention.  But the small ones make the difference.

I was stressing a bit about Thanksgiving.  It is probably the worst four or five days of the year for dieters.  Sure, there are bad individual days out there.  But Thanksgiving has basically become a holiday about eating.  And it lasts the whole weekend.  Thursday is the big day to stuff yourself.  But the leftovers last all weekend.  Pies hang around to be snarfed.  Everyone's reheating all the stuff you aren't supposed to eat.  So it is a ton of consistent fighting off trouble.

When I weighed last Monday, I was 260.2.  That marked 95 pounds and put me within shooting distance of hitting 100 by my one year mark.  Today, after all the holidays, travelling, overeating, I weighed 260.2.  I actually raised my arms to the ceiling and cheered.  It was one of those small plays that won't make the highlight reel.  But it was huge to me.  I managed to make it through the whole weekend and not gain anything.  Even with all the travelling - which usually makes me retain water - and eating out on the road yesterday, I was still the same.  

That was a massive victory for me.  I didn't sit there all weekend and refuse to eat anything.  I ate quite well.  We grilled chicken and sausages on Wednesday with baked beans, peppers, roasted sweet potatoes, and roasted regular potatoes.  We had pumpkin oatmeal for breakfast.  Thursday, I had ham, turkey, pumpkin risotto, cranberry conserve, green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole.  We had grilled food again on Friday.  I had leftovers here and there.  Saturday I had a Mexican rice bowl I made with guacamole, chicken, steak, beans, salsa, and rice.  We even ate at McAllister's Deli - twice.  In short, I ate more than my share of good yummy stuff.

I had to forego some stuff.  I avoided the mashed potatoes, corn casserole, dressing, chips, pizza, pies, cookies, cheeseburgers, more pies, and cheese that other people ate.  And I had frozen yogurt when everyone else was diving into baked goods.  But I really enjoyed myself.  And I gained nothing.  Plus zero, minus zero.  But it felt like a major win.  It certainly gives me hope for the month of December and the mine field it presents.  And it also gives me more encouragement to work hard these next three weeks before the madness really begins.  I figure I could really make some progress in that time.  If I was able to make it through Thanksgiving without any damage, I am sure the next three weeks at home should be easier to maintain.

On other thing.  I posted this on Facebook the other day, but I'll put it here too.  This picture was taken last Thanksgiving at our family get together.

When I found that, I could hardly believe it.  How did I let myself get to that point?  What I posted on Facebook is true.  Every year at Thanksgiving, I thank God for my family, friends, and freedom.  But this year, I am the most thankful that I finally allowed God to free me of being the guy in that chair.

WEEK 44: Prepping for the Gauntlet

First, the dirty details.  I am at 260.2 pounds.  That is about a 2.5 pound drop from last checkin.  Of course, that all happened in the last week.  For most of this cycle, I actually had been up a couple pounds.  Friday was the first drop I saw, and then it went down a little on Monday as well.  I just bought a few warmer shirts for the winter.  I was very comfortably in XLT shirts.  If I don't have the tall option, XXL works - but the length is hit or miss.  I went to American Eagle the other day just to see what happened.  There were several clearance XXL shirts that I loved.  They fit great - when I was standing.  But they spread when I sat.  And they were a little too short.  This is the problem with stores like Gap, Old Navy, AE, A&F.  They use a smaller sizing system than they used to - and smaller than other companies.  A XXL at Old Navy may be equal to a XL at Sears.  Kind of frustrating.  That usually means I'm still stuck in the Big and Tall section and their limited options.  Oh well, I can't get shorter.

We have a night wedding this December to go to.  Since it is customary to dress nicer for those, I tried on my suit.  This is the same suit that I had to get altered to be able to wear it to Heather's gala in April.  It was ridiculous.  The shirt was billowing.  I had to pull the pants up to my chest to have them stay up.  The jacket wasn't bad, but you could tell it was too big.  I had lost like 45 pounds since April!  So I'm not sure what to do about that.  I don't know if it can get taken in as much as it needs.  If not, I may have to find a suit deal.  And then hope it still fits come April for this year's gala.

So far, the grand total is 95 pounds.  I really have wanted to lose 100 by the end of the year, but I'm not sure if that will happen or not.  At the rate I've been losing, five pounds in six weeks is a pretty tall order.  I haven't seen that kind of drop in months.  Technically, I don't hit the one year mark until January 18.  So if I don't hit 255 by December 31, if I can do it by January 18 I will be happy.  I really believe that this is the worst time of year to try to lose weight.  It is like a perfect storm of diet crushing.  There is travel, staying at other people's houses, losing your safe routine of foods and restaurants, baked goods, holiday feasts.  It is a real challenge.

For me, this is my favorite time of year.  All year I look forward to Thanksgiving week through New Year's.  It just makes me happy.  I love seeing family, getting presents, eating holiday food, getting presents, the cooler weather, getting presents, the general feeling and excitement of the season, getting presents, and - of course - getting presents.  The food is a very big part of the holiday.  Shoot, in America we almost define these holidays by what is served.  Thanksgiving has become Turkey Day.  There's the Christmas Ham or Roast Beast and Christmas Cookies.  New Year's comes with copious alcohol and buffet spreads - or more ham.

I loved this in year's past.  It seemed like all my favorite foods were located in this season.  Pumpkin stuff, pies galore, turkey, cranberries, ham, cookies, holiday breads, pecan pickups, sour cream cookies, chocolate cool whip cookies, shortbread.  Snacking was accepted.  No one got on your case when you wander through the kitchen and snag a couple cookies.  In fact, if you didn't eat those things, people wondered what was wrong with you.  What other time of year is is perfectly acceptable to give people a plate of food as a present?!?  I remember working at churches and the staff area was always jammed with snacks the entire month of December.  As a teacher, I would get a ton of baked goods.  And then there are the Christmas parties.  We haven't been to those since we moved, but before that it seemed there were several each year.  Those were just a green light to snarf snacks of all kinds.  It was awesome.  Food and holidays go hand in hand.

This year, I now stand at a kind of gauntlet.  I have made it through ten months.  So far, every holiday or celebration I was worried about has been conquered.  I've survived traveling, cookouts, birthdays, Halloween, Easter.  And I haven't cheated with any of my no-no foods.  The next six weeks is going to be the biggest challenge.  I don't think that I will cheat - I have too much invested in this.  It is just going to be hard to watch and know what I'm missing.  I don't think the cheating is the question.  It is the mental struggle.

For example, at our house Friday night is often pizza night.  We either get pizza or make it and watch tv. It is a nice little ritual.  But I haven't been able to participate for ten months.  Usually it isn't a big deal.  There is no way I am eating the pizza.  But there are times when it is very very hard.  I have to go get the pizza or prepare it.  Then I have to cut it and dole it out.  And the whole time I can't have it.  I have to smell it, touch it, watch people eat it.  And then I go to my bowl of leftover beans and rice and whatever meat wandered into it.  It isn't easy.  People don't remember that.

That's what I'm worried about for the holidays.  We have Thanksgiving, a wedding in South Carolina, Heather's birthday, Natalie's birthday, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day.  All of those bring with it their own collection of problem foods.  But then there is also the constant presence of the holiday accessories.  Usually if I am facing a tough challenge, once it is over I can just move on.  With this, it doesn't end.  It is just a continuing string of those days.  I know it isn't possible to expect everyone else to forego their holiday celebrations because of me.  So I am going to have to steel myself.

Josiah will come up to me on pizza night or at the movies and ask me if I am sad that I can't have the food or the candy or soda.  I will usually respond with this.  "For most of my life I never told myself no.  I enjoyed those things enough in my first 36 years to last me the rest of my life."  That goes for holidays too.  I have had more than my share of good times on those days.  I have eaten pies, cookies, candies, sausage balls, mashed potatoes, and holiday bread enough to last a lifetime.  Now is the time to do it right - to be controlled.  Yes, it is hard missing out on things.  But I never did before - I never said no.  It is time I learned that.

Be praying for me this holiday season - and for all those people close to you with weight problems.  Understand just how hard it is for them.  Every tray of baked goods that comes into the office, every party, every gift exchange.  They all are stressful.  Each one comes with the battle.  Each time they give in they get crushed with guilt and shame and anger.  And that just makes the process worse later.  I know it is impossible to change the holiday.  People are not going to go for a celery swap any time soon.  But maybe you can be an encouragement to those people who struggle during this season.  Be sensitive to them and find a way to include them - without making it super obvious.  "HEY FATTY!  I brought salad for you!!!"  Not what I meant.  Just be thoughtful.  And if you don't struggle, well there is something else to be thankful for on Thursday.

Twinkie Diet

There has been quite a bit of press given to Mark Haub recently.  He is a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State and recently has been running a bizarre experiment.  (To read all about it, here is the story on CNN.)  He wanted to see if he could lose weight by eating a "convenience store diet."  Basically, he was eating stuff like Twinkies, brownies, Little Debbies, and Doritos and trying to lose weight - just by limiting how much of those things he ate.  The crazy thing is that it worked.  He lost 27 pounds.  It wasn't just the weight loss, either.  He also saw improvements in all his blood tests - cholesterol, body fat, everything.

Now, due to the bizarre nature of the trial, it has gained a lot of attention.  And, with that, there is going to be more ammunition for people who are struggling with weight to show they aren't doing anything wrong. It also will probably lead to numerous misguided efforts by people desperate to lose weight.  There are some important lessons to be learned from this experiment - and none of them are "go eat twinkies."

First of all, look at what he ate.  He had a very limited caloric content.  He took vitamins.  He also ate cans of green beans.  Basically, he eliminated meat and bread and put snack foods in the place of those foods.  Instead of having chicken, rice, and veggies, his dinner would be twinkie, brownie, and veggies.  So, this wasn't eating meals PLUS twinkies.  Twinkies were his meals.

Second, the thing he was trying to prove was that in losing weight, it is a matter of controlling calories more than what you eat.  This is entirely true.  From all of my years of efforts to lose weight, I can verify that calorie control can definitely make you lose weight.  On Weight Watchers, I was able to lose fifty pounds in four months due to being very regimented on their point system.  I rarely went over my allotted calories.  I was very restrictive with things like breakfast (grits or oatmeal) and snacks (fruit).  That way I could be a little flexible with lunch and dinner.  By flexible, I mean that I still found ways to eat pizza, cheeseburgers, cookies.  You could work those into the structure.  So, on the surface that theory is sound - limit calories and lose weight.

BUT!!!  (You knew it was coming.)  For me, and I would wager for most people, that did nothing to break the addictions that were actually behind my struggles.  There were certain foods that I couldn't say no to.  And as long as I could still find ways to have those foods, I never would really have victory.  If there was still a way to work those things into my diet, I found a way.  With Weight Watchers, for example, I would have my grits in the morning (4 points), a banana for snack (2 points), and then a salad for lunch (5-7 points).  That would leave me 24 points for dinner.  That approximately is 1200 calories for dinner!  You can get away with a lot for 1200 calories.  Double cheeseburgers.  Soda.  Pizza.  Was I really learning to eat right?  Or was I just learning how to rig the system.  For me, I couldn't maintain the loss.  That is why we see so many people yo-yo on diets like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers.  They market themselves as "able to eat whatever you want" diets.  So you never learn to break dependence on those foods.

Who would be attracted to the concept of a Twinkie Diet?  Probably someone who has a strong affinity to sweets and baked goods.  Would that person really be successful in this?  Sure, they may lose weight like Professor Haub did.  They may even keep it up for months.  But, I think at some point they would tire of eating Ding Dongs and want other food.  And that is where Haub's diet has a big problem.  If you were to try to add in even healthy food, you go over your limits.  The whole thought of "I think I'll have an apple - that's healthy" would actually hurt you.  The calories in fruit would throw you off.  Not good.

The third thing to learn - which I think is a valuable lesson - is that there is indeed freedom in how you attack your weight issues.  I know that my approach is something that would not work for everyone.  And there are people who don't think I'm doing things right.  "BBQ?  That's not healthy!  Frozen yogurt?  That's just splitting hairs about ice cream."  But, for me, I have lost 93 pounds.  More importantly, I have maintained the loss and the lifestyle for ten months.  Why?  I have eliminated the addictive foods.  I'm not trying to figure out how to work those things back in.  I found better options and use those.  I'm not measuring and religiously monitoring calories.  But, by the very elimination of those fatty, starchy, high calorie foods that used to make up the bulk of my diet, I have greatly reduced my caloric intake.  For months, I was only taking in 1200-1400 calories a day.  Now, I usually am taking in about 1800 calories.

I think that what Haub was trying to prove is that you don't have to just eat lettuce and boiled chicken to lose weight.  The true issue is control.  Can you be controlled in your food intake?  Haub was controlled - very regimented on his exact daily diet.  He just happened to use junk food as his controlled food options.  The problem is that the media is going to seize onto the sensational elements of the experiment. The headline is always "Man loses 27 pounds on twinkie diet."  That gets you to click on the article (I did).  I'm afraid that some people are actually going to try this and get into worse trouble.  Instead of finding the control they need, they are actually going to further unleash their addictions.  Unless they just get nauseated by sheer quantity of Twinkies.  Maybe it could be like immersion therapy.